My Mission to Breastfeed.

Originally dated May 24, 2012. I am sharing this for any mother struggling to nurse their baby, know that you are not alone.


From the moment I realized I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to exclusively breastfeed my baby until his or her first birthday. It wasn't because I was exclusively breastfed (in fact, I don't personally know anyone that was) but because it's what's best for the baby and I want what's best.

 As much as I read up on natural birthing and laboring, I didn't focus as much attention on researching what happens after the birth. As a result, I had to rely on advice from a hospital system that pushes formula, and the women in my family, none of whom breastfed their children past 3 months of age. The baby was given formula against my express, written wishes while we were in the hospital because I had to have an emergency c-section after 46 hours in labor and he had to eat before I was awake. I requested that the baby be brought to me when he needed to eat after that. I nursed him at the hospital and was taught about proper latch, etc. but I was also given formula bottles and told that because of my difficult labor and the baby being on antibiotics (a whole other story), that I should monitor how much he eats, which I obviously couldn't do if I was just nursing.

When we got home and for the next couple of months, I would nurse the baby constantly. Literally. I felt like he was always hungry, so I must be doing something wrong. He gave me a hard time latching for a while because he would come at me so voraciously and impatiently (we called it "snarf face" because he looked like he was going to "snarf snarf snarf" once he got to the boob) that I had to convince him to slow down enough to properly get on. I am impatient by nature, and I think this latch business was the beginning of parenting changing me into a more gracious person ;) I was also so overwhelmed with being the only person feeding the baby, on top of recovering from infection after infection from the c-section and piles of antibiotics, that I started handing him over to whoever was around to give him a bottle of formula after only a few minutes at a time of nursing. I really just felt then like I couldn't cope with everything I was going through, and I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that it would eventually get much easier.

By the time Bu was 2 months old, I was coming out of my fog and realizing that I could possibly do this mothering thing on my own. I was finally healthy and able to establish a routine. I tried exclusively breastfeeding for a long time. I would even set my alarm for 2 am every single day, regardless of whether the baby would wake up for a feeding, so I could pump and build up my supply. Whenever I'd exclusively breastfeed for any length of time, the baby would lose weight. I simply was not making enough milk. In hindsight, and now especially as I'm writing this, I'm sure everything from the method of delivery leading up to his second month had A LOT, if not everything, to do with my under-supply.

Since the baby was born, I've had cocktails of fenugreek tablets, organic mothers milk tea, and of course my prenatal vitamins every. single. day. I eat oatmeal, stay away from parsley....basically anything I can to pump my supply up, but nothing really does too much. In April, I got really sick and had bronchitis for 3 weeks, on top of severe ear infections. I was on several antibiotics, which heavily impacted my supply. We also took the baby to the doctor around that same time, and we were told that while he's in the 98% for height, he was in the 5-10% for weight. Granted, he's being compared to exclusively formula-fed babies, but regardless, he was starting to look sickly. The doctor insisted we supplement his diet because I just was not producing enough for him to thrive.

That was the last straw. With my supply already dwindling from the illness and antibiotics, the baby got very accustomed to bottles and the instant gratification that came with ounces at a time at his disposal. He started napping without needing to nurse too, which was always his routine. Even when the baby was losing weight, I was able to pump about 3-5 oz total in a 10 minute pumping session. Now, I can get an ounce out of the left side, if I'm lucky, and barely an 1/8 of an oz out of my right in the same time frame. I'm continuing to pump daily, but it takes me a week of daily pumping to get the 4 oz I used to get out of one session.

I continue to pump and freeze so even if I stop producing completely, I can still give the baby breast milk for as long as possible. As it is now, he only nurses once, maybe twice a day, and more for comfort than sustenance. I used to cry at the very notion of not having that breastfeeding relationship with my son. I literally spent hours everyday researching and looking at feeding logs and my own food journals to see if anything I ate was affecting my supply, etc. My life was about breastfeeding.

Now, it's sinking in that the relationship is nearing its end. All I can do is try to forgive myself for not completing my goal of a year, and know that when I have a second child, I will be armed with the knowledge that I didn't have with my first so that hopefully, I can do just as well, if not better, for him or her. I had a lot in my way, and I have to be proud of all I persevered in order to make it this far. My son is happy, thriving, and we have an incredible bond and relationship. These are the things I have to focus on. I will continue to nurse my Bu as long as he'll allow, and I will no doubt mourn and cry the day he decides he's done. But I am proud to nurse as long as I am able to, and I would go through all of it all over again for this little man.

Guest Post (continued): "My journey toward Fertility Awareness, or why I don't use hormonal birth control..."

To read the first part of Codi's story, please click here.

About 3 months into year two of marriage we went on a spiritual retreat with the faith based ministry were were newly on staff with. It was a difficult time for both of us, and sex would have been a good way to connect. But we forgot the condoms. And none of the other married couples had any. And we couldn’t drive anywhere to get any. It really sucked. A couple other wives told me about what they do, one with many many health problems, and one normal and healthy. They both used a method called Fertility Awareness. Not the rhythm method or the calendar method, fertility awareness tells you what your body is doing right now, today, no matter how long or short your cycle is.

Sadly I did not convince my husband that condom free sex that night would be fine, but it did start me on a journey for information. They pointed me to a book called Your Fertility Signals: Using Them to Achieve or Avoid Pregnancy Naturally, by Merryl Winstein. 

 

When we got home from the retreat I bought the book. It was old, and kind of hokey with the illustrations, but I could tell it had good information. I learned that when a woman ovulates, there are physical changes you can pay attention to in order to avoid having sex on what is called a fertile day.

When a woman ovulates, at whatever time in her cycle her body is ready, usually 2 weeks before her next period, there will be an increase in vaginal discharge, specifically cervical mucus. Cervical mucus is the bodies way of insuring egg and sperm meet. It provides channels to speed up the sperm on their journey towards the egg, and helps the egg make it safely to the uterus for implantation. It also keeps sperm alive longer, providing a hospitable atmosphere for them to wait for an egg to be released.

Most women will be able to see cervical mucus for about 4 days in a cycle. If you did not see mucus you probably did not ovulate.  

To avoid or achieve a pregnancy, you will check vaginally every time you use the toilet, looking for cervical mucus, or CM. CM is like egg whites, (abbreviated EWCM), clear or whitish, and stretchy, up to an inch of stretch between your fingers. Vaginal discharge is wet, or sticky, and will not stretch.

Here is the basic idea, read on knowing that I am not a medical professional. I suggest you do your own research and/or talk to your doctor before starting this or any other health related plan. Also the book I mentioned and others like it explain the how to do this in much greater detail. This is to give you an idea and encourage you to look for yourself more in depth.

To avoid pregnancy:

Beginning on the first day your period ends, until you have your next period, you will check for CM before and after every time to the toilet (with clean hands). If you have no egg white cervical mucus, you may have sex that night! But not the next day as sex will change the liquids in your lady parts, and sperm can look very similar to EWCM (egg white cervical mucus).  When you start seeing EWCM when you wipe, you stop having sex at night (and any other time), and for four days after you last see any CM. You wait 4 days because absence of EWCM does not mean the egg is gone. There is still a potential for pregnancy in this window of time. Once the four days have passed, have as much sex as you want whenever you want, but keep looking for signals until your next period starts.

To get knocked up:

Check your cervical mucus daily, as if above. When you start seeing EWCM, have lots of sex! Your body is telling you there is an egg available, provide some sperm. Have lots of sex in the days after you see EWCM also.

It took me a few months of tracking to feel comfortable enough...and my husband! This is not a one woman show, both partners need to be comfortable with the method, and communication is vital! We stopped using condoms as a back up, and only used the fertility awareness method. We successfully did not get pregnant for about a year the first time around, and for over 18 months after the birth of our daughter. When trying to get pregnant it took us about 9 months the first time and 6 months round 2. When we really want sex on fertile days, we use a condom if we are preventing pregnancy, knowing that if it fails there is a high likelihood of a baby.

This is not for everyone, but I greatly enjoy knowing I am not putting hormones into my body, and if a baby is conceived it has a chance to live and grow. It is also free, requires no supplies, and available whether you have insurance or not. If you have very long or short cycles, you will be able to find out when you are ovulating, and act accordingly. If you have no cycle, you can start tracking to see if you are ovulating (like while nursing a baby).

The book Your Fertility Signals: Using Them to Achieve or Avoid Pregnancy Naturally also teaches you how to temp daily to track exactly when you ovulated. I choose not to do this because I am lazy. Plus you will only know looking back which day you ovulated, and you would still be tracking your bodies signals on a daily basis to know when your fertile days are. The book includes charts to track mucus and temperature. It is available used from several sources.

 

Here are some resources for more information:

FAQ’s and more information: http://www.fertaware.com/awareness.html

Fertility Awareness Counselor(I have not personally used) http://www.hannahshopefertility.com/

There are also many apps to track your cycle, I use “My Days X” for android, it was free.

For my family, this is what works, and what my husband and I are both very comfortable with. Do your research, decide if this is something you want to do for you, and know that you have to keep track all the time or you can get pregnant. If you forget a few days of tracking, use a barrier method or know you risk pregnancy.

Codi is a mom of almost 2 from Southern California. She spends her days getting ready for baby #2 and giving her daughter those last only child days. If you'd like to connect with Codi or ask her questions, please comment!

Guest Post: "Nursing in Public at the House of Mouse"

Now that summertime is here, vacations are on everyone’s minds.  And if you are living in Florida with children, Disney World is probably on your radar.  If you’re planning to visit Disney with a nursing child, here is my experience on our first trip there with a toddler.

Nursing for us hasn’t always been a walk in the park, but it has been the single best thing for my relationship with my son, now 19 months.   Nursing in public has been something that I have had to grow into doing.  The first couple of outings when he was still a newborn, I was nervous and hesitant to nurse while out, fearful of someone making a comment or gawking.  I came prepared with a blanket that I could cover him with, but found that I rarely felt the need to use it.  As I became more and more comfortable with nursing in general, nursing in public came easier to us both.  Now I have no qualms about where I nurse him or who may be watching.  I am being a parent the best way I know how by meeting my child’s needs and if anything, I hope that NIP will bring some normalcy to breastfeeding in our culture.  Luckily. I have never experienced any negativity while NIP, though I always am thinking of a few one-liners in case I need to keep any naysayers in check ;)

We decided, spur of the moment, do take a trip to Disney World for a few days in early June.   A few things you should know about my son; one, he doesn’t like long car rides, two, he doesn’t like sitting in a stroller and three, though he is eating solids, he nurses frequently (5-6 times a day).  We were most nervous about the car ride, how many stops we’d have to make to accommodate him, how to keep him entertained, etc.  But surprisingly, he did very well.  We packed some new toys to keep his interest and only found the need to stop once at Ft. Pierce for a snack and a diaper change.  He did get very cranky towards the end of the ride, probably because he needed a nap but rarely will fall asleep in the car.  For babies that don’t like car rides, I would just advise to keep a very lax schedule and agenda.  We didn’t have any time expectations and even anticipated making many stops along the way.  Don’t stress yourself out with strict deadlines if you don’t need to.  During our trip, we also didn’t put the pressure of time lines on ourselves.  We stayed at one of the resorts, so transportation in and out of the parks was easy by bus.  We had hoped he would take some sort of mini nap while being worn in a carrier, but it didn’t turn out as planned (like everything else with children!)  So around 3pm every day, we would return to our hotel room for naptime.  This actually worked in our favor, because since he took a later nap than usual, we were able to stay out later than his at-home schedule.  It’s vacation after all; try not to worry about keeping a rigid schedule (unless the baby needs that, of course).  We found it easier to just run by his cues, rather than making plans.

I also mentioned that my son does not like being in a stroller.  Since we baby wear regularly and he likes walking a lot, we decided not to bring ours.  In hindsight, we probably could have used it, if only to hold our bags, had he decided not to sit in it.  I carried a medium sized purse and my husband carried a backpack, so between those, we fit everything we needed. We carried him for the majority of the time, which was a definite workout.  We used our Tula soft structured carrier, making the frequent up and downs easy.  If your baby will sit in a stroller, by all means bring one.  If they don’t, I would suggest bringing or renting anyways.  The only challenge we saw to families that had strollers was the frequent closing and opening of it to get on buses, trolleys, etc.  With that being said, almost every family there had a stroller, so for the most part Disney World accommodates them in all other settings.

Now onto the nursing.  It was definitely not anything that I saw other mothers doing.  In fact, I can’t remember ever noticing another mama nursing her child (not to say it wasn’t happening, just that I didn’t witness it).  However, we had no problems nursing in the park, and did it frequently.  Disney World is definitely a sensory overload for little ones, with gigantic sights and sounds around every turn.  My son was able to find comfort at my breast whenever he felt overwhelmed.  I nursed primarily while wearing him and no one around knew the wiser.  It was very discreet, so if you have a carrier and are hesitant to NIP, I would recommend using one.  It will make your life easier.  On some of the rides, It’s A Small World in Magic Kingdom, and The Great Movie Tour in Hollywood Studios, I nursed him during the ride on my lap as well.  He eats most of the food that we eat, so we didn’t pack any additional snacks for him, but I did see some other families who had packed foods for their kids without problem.  Another obvious perk to breastfeeding is no need to pack any bottles!
After we returned from our trip, I heard that all the theme parks actually have baby centers, which even have nursing rooms with rocking chairs.  I didn’t have the opportunity to experience these facilities, but what a great idea to take a breather and relax with your baby amidst all wonderful new chaos.  I would definitely recommend looking up those locations on your map during your next trip to Disney World.

Overall, our experience was great and we had no problems with any staff or other vacationers.   My son loved his time there and was able to experience many new things, all while still having the comfort of having his “milky” whenever he needed it.



Christine a mother of one from Florida. She is also a consultant with Ava Anderson Non-Toxic, please check out her business page here.

Guest Post: "Adoptive Breastfeeding is Possible!!!"

From a very young age I knew that my heart, my home, and my family were in Africa. Two years ago I found my heart and home in Uganda and shortly after that I found my family in my (at that time) 12 year old daughter Eva and at the beginning of this year my second daughter Lilly who was just 10 days old. Lilly was abandoned by her birth mother and fed milk straight from a cow for the first 10 (we are guessing) days of her life, this caused her to be severely lactose intolerant and give her severe GI issues. So I began giving her lactose free formula, this helps but she has major tummy issues. I began researching and asking questions and found out the coolest thing ever, adoptive breastfeeding is possible!!!

 So I crazy researched and talked to some awesome moms and decided that Dr. Jack Newman's protocol would be the best for us. I started really tightening up my diet to eat mostly foods that help make milk!

At first baby girl was not interested in trying the breast and got super frustrated every time I tried to nurse her. I would put her to the breast and and she would fuss and cry. This was a hard hit for me, I was feeling rejected and discouraged and some one shared with me something beautiful that honestly may be the only reason I continued trying she said "that is where a baby belongs and is supposed to feel safest, I think it is just where she feels most at peace to let her frustration out" and I thought how true that is and it gave me the strength to keep trying! 

I was told eating garlic encourages babies to latch so I thought why not give it a shot and so I made some super garlic hummus ate it for a snack that afternoon and that night she latched!!!

About 8 days after I started the protocol me and baby girl were getting in the shower I looked down and realized I had milk!!! It was more of a clear milky looking stuff but I knew this was a great sign that this is working!

We still have issues with her latching, my milk is very small but we are learning and loving it and the bond and getting to give my baby amazing nutrition is worth not having my coffee in the morning (I am and addict) and worth every hard moment and every feeling of rejection and every weird look! Mamas you can do this, mamas with low milk supply and mamas of babies that came to them in ways other than from their belly, you have got this! I am in your corner and your biggest cheerleader! Love your babies well!!!

Now here is the logistics of making this work!

 *I am in no way endorsing these particular brands or products they are just what is working for us! Also I am by no means a professional this is just all from personal research and trial and error. 

As previously stated we live in Uganda so we are waiting on our Medela pump and SNS to get here. I highly recommend these two products if you have low milk supply or are re-lactating or inducing lactation. The SNS is a bottle with a small tube that attaches to your breast you fill bottle with formula/donated milk so baby is getting everything she needs right at your breast even if you can not provide it your self, and you are stimulating your body to tell it to make more milk all at the same time!

I would recommend renting a hospital grade pump, that was not an option for us but will be your best bet! Pump at least every 3 hours and once during 1-5 am as that is when your milk production is at its highest, and power pump at least once a day. 

How to power pump:

Pump 20 min

Rest 10 min

Pump 10 

Rest 10

Pump 10

I am also going to be doing the following supplements

Blessed Thistle 

Fenugreek

Motherslove More Milk Special Blend

Mothers Milk Tea

The following diet is my personal one and excludes a lot of good things because we don't have access to them here. But you can search Pinterest "breastfeeding food" and find some awesome stuff!

What I try to include in my daily diet: 

~Non-instant oatmeal with either honey, banana, or apples and cinnamon. Keep it interesting as oatmeal is your best friend right now and you don't want to get sick of it! 

~We have a very strong ginger ale here so I try to drink a few a week as ginger is great for supply!

~LOTS of water!!!! Hydration is you bestest best friend! Love the water!!

~Half of a dark beer (I hate it but they say it helps...)

~Lots of carrots as they are one of the few milk helpers available here and I love them! 

~Hummus with LOTS of garlic and cumin as chick peas and cumin are good for milk and garlic encourages her to latch! 

~Green Papaya

~I add garlic to everything! Cause we are all about the latch!

~Avocado

~Rice (we live in Africa so this is a given!)

~WATER!!!!!!

Avoid:

-Caffeine

-Peppermint

-Strong herbs or seasonings

-Antihistamines as they are meant to dry you up and this can also effect your 

milk.

Like I said I am no professional this is just one mommy to another. Good luck! Ask questions, don't be ashamed, love your babies! Know that at least one person is out there supporting you and cheering you on! 

Much much love, Emily

Emily is the 22 year old mama of 2 beautiful daughters through the blessing of adoption and foster mommy to two more. She is originally from South Carolina but now lives in Uganda, East Africa where she is the founder and executive director of Salvation Ministries and Kwagala Baby Home. She also serves in the local hospital as a midwife and is in the process of opening a birthing center and maternity home. You can read more about Emily, her daughters and their ministry at http://salvationinuganda.blogspot.com/ and find out more about the ministry at http://www.salvationministriesinuganda.com/

Guest Post: "A Home Birth Worth Waiting For"

Well, where do I start? Let’s see, I have been having “false” or prodromal labor since 36 ½ weeks. At 36 ½ weeks, my midwife was over and checked me, to make sure I wasn’t actually in labor, as I would have had to transfer to a hospital if I was. In Colorado you have to be 37-42 weeks for a midwife attended homebirth. My first edd by LMP was 8-22-11. BUT I was charting the cycle I conceived, and I KNEW I didn’t O til cd 24, making my EDD 10 days later than that, at 9-1-11. Sure enough, the ultrasounds matched MY edd, from charting.

I saw my OB from my first two pregnancies to start, I had gotten Hyperemesis AGAIN, and had a PICC line placed, only to have it out 5 days later when it made my Superior Vena Cave swell, and almost killed me-NOT FUN. After that, I got care from a CPM, just for Hyperemesis. She started me on Milk Thistles (not blessed thistle, blessed is FOR milk supply, MILK thistle is for live function) and I was on around 20 carpels a day at first, BUT it took care of things wonderfully. I was not comfortable with a CPM for my birth, as I have MTHFR and it can present more issues than a “normal” person. So I found my CNM, Janet Schwab. Surprisingly, she is NOT very medical, and more natural than MOST of the CPMs I know.
 
I hired her when I was 14 wks. It would have been sooner, but I interviewed several midwives, and I also was in the hospital in Feb (on Valentine’s Day) for a few days, I had Flu type A, and also Swedish hospital tanked my potassium. I went in for hydration my “K” (potassium) was 3.4 normal is 3.5 and up (don’t remember the upper range) well they pumped me full of 4 bags of just water. NO K in it at all. Surprise surprise when that night I ended up at a different hospital, due to heart issues, only to find out my K was down to a 2.9. They gave me 3 bags of IV K, BURNS LIKE HELL. And sent me home. They next day I saw the OB I was seeing, and we had my labs sent in again, only to have them tell me to get to the hospital I needed to be admitted. I was + for Flu A, and my K was now a 2.7! So I was in for 2 nights, and got around 11 bags of K, plus the 3 from the ER the night before. 14 total bags got me to a 3.7, but hey it was range. The next day I hired Janet. Went to 1 more apt with Dr. B. and fired him.

The rest of my pregnancy was normal for once. I did see my midwife's back up OB, who ironically was my mother OB when she was pregnant with me. He was wonderful, and believed in homebirth, I wonder if his wife being a midwife has anything to do with that lol. I got my anatomy scan, decided to find out what we were having, and it was gonna be our 3rd girl! We were so excited! Familiar territory!

About 36 ½ weeks, I had contractions after going to the zoo. We went to the Zoo about 100 times this summer- can I just say I LOVE the zoo pass-all I ever needed was the gas to get there, and I could walk, as well as make the girls happy all at the same time! The contractions seemed like “business” and I was spotting with them, so I called Janet, who came right over and checked me. I was closed, and there was nothing to worry about. This Contracting and spotting kept up until I reached 40w3d. However, there were 2-3 times, where we thought she was coming before then, only to have me try to sleep and wake up still pregnant.

Sure enough, on Sept 4th, 2011, at 40w3d pregnant, my baby decided she would come out. I woke up around 430 to come contractions, but this had been normal so I blew it off. Woke up to another around 5, another at 530 and it kept up that way until around 8am when I woke up David and we had 1 final round of “fun” to move things along. Let me tell ya, that was all my body needed that day! After I started contracting, but it was different, it was ALL low, before they had been low and high, but these were ALL LOW. And there started out, 5-6 min apart! I called my Midwife, My Doula Jessica, and let my parents know what was going on. Part of me just felt different. David and I took a walk, to where the contractions picked up to 3 min apart, and I could hardly move through them. We called the team back, and everyone was on their way.

This was my first non-induced labor. Azalynn was 35 weeks after 5 wks in the hospital for a montage of issues. Kaydence was 38 ½ wks due to PIH that was turning pre-e. So I had no clue what to expect. My midwife and her assistant got to my house around 1030, my doula around 1130. I got a little panicked, seeing everything being set up, but the ctx were hurting so bad, I got over it pretty fast.  Ctx were around 3 min apart, I wasn’t checked, as I said my mw is very non-medical. But after about 2 hours, I asked to be checked. I was only 4 cm, BUT 100% thinned and baby was at a 0 station.  I HAD to get in the tub, because I was not dealing with them well at all. Honestly, the pit was about the same as MY own ctx. So really, I don’t buy the “Pit is so much worse” line anymore.

An hour later, I felt a TON of pressure, so I asked to be checked, but I was only a 5, but a +1 station.  I was happy cause I made it a whole cm in an hour, oh and she would not have checked me if I didn’t ask. About an hour and a half later, I had a feeling I could no longer do this. I figured I was in transition, then my body started to push on its own, but something didn’t feel right. I asked to be checked again. Turns out I was only 6cm, with a bulging bag.  But my body was pushing. I couldn’t help it. I tried millions of positions, the tub, the toilet-other than tub, toilet was the BEST spot. An hour later, same thing, but more intense, guess what? Still 6cm. I was staring to lose it, thinking I needed to transfer because I was worried my cervix was going to swell shut, since I couldn’t stop my body from pushing in the ctx. I just could not help it. I asked, well more like demanded to transfer so I 1 wouldn’t swell shut, 2 to get rid of the pain. I was in a “CANT DO THIS” state of mind for an hour and could not take anymore. My midwife, her assistant, and my doula somehow convinced me to go for a walk outside with my husband. I had 3 ctx just between the front door and the end of our property; I turned around said “I WANT TO GO NOW” and headed back to the house to get ready to go to the hospital.

 I had 1 more ctx on the way to the door,  and one more right when we got inside, the one inside is when I finally gave up and gave in. I was standing in front of the swamp cooler (god that was a nice feeling) and I told David I was sorry for wasting $4,000. I made it down stairs to the toilet again, where I felt I really had to poop. Thinking too bad I do need to poop and I know it’s not the baby, seeing as I was 6cm 15 min before.  My midwife came in to see how I felt after the walk, I told her I give up, I’m ready to transfer, this could be hours more. I asked her to check me one more time, and then we could go. In my mind I said “if I’m at least an 8 I won’t go” so I got to the bed, had another ctx-a WHOPPING one. That lasted 2 min long. Then I laid down on the bed for her to check me. With the most shocked look on her face, she said “you can push if you want” all I could do is say “REALLY????” I must have asked if she was sure about 10 times. My doula said the look on my face was priceless. I did have a small right anterior lip, just like with Kaydence. I hopped up, and hopped into the tub, I had a ctx as I was going from the bed to the tub, but I just wanted in the dam tub!!!! I debated just diving in instead of climbing in lol.

Once I was in the tub, things spaced way out. We tried different positions, to get the bit of cervical lip gone, none were working, but ctx were so spaced out at that point, I just was happy I had rest time. When I had one, I tried pushing, it hurt, so I stopped which hurt more, so I tried again. I told the mw I thought I brought her down a bit again, and asked her to check and see, I had, but the lip was holding her back a bit, my mw offered to hold it out of the way, and I said “YES PLEASE!” so next ctx when I started to push I told her, and she held it back, then things really got insane pain wise. I just wanted her out. I took her from at the lip, (so a +2 station) to crowning in 1 huge push. OMG it hurt to have her sit there. They told me to reach down and touch her head, I did, the bag was still intact at that point! It was awesome to feel. Next ctx my waters broke, which I didn’t feel at all because I was in the water, but then it hurt even worse. I actually screamed “JUST PULL HER OUT!!!!” to the midwives, but she wasn’t even out yet lol. I gave one more push; I didn’t want to wait for a ctx, period. So I just pushed, I could feel myself stretching, and feel her trying to come out, I was screaming one of the “EGHHHHHHHH” screams, and everyone in unison told me to breath, I took 1 huge breath and went at pushing with everything I had again, my hand still on her head! And then her head just popped out! I didn’t want to stop, it still hurt bad. So I pushed again, and felt her rotate (k that was kinda cool) and then she was out. Next thing I know there is a splash and my baby is being handed to me. The position I was in was kinda half on my right side, right leg somewhat folded up under me, left leg digging into the bottom of the pool hard. Wednesday Sky was earthside at 413pm, 13” head, with a nuchal hand.  BEST LOOKING cord out of any of my kids (can we say proper nutrition?) her placenta was somewhat of a heart shape too-awesome!

 I got out of the tub about 15 min later, after sitting there in awe amazed I did it, and even more amazed that *I* did it. I went into labor on my own, my child picked her birthday, I dealt with the pain, even if I did beg/demand to transfer at one point, I did it at home in the water!!!! Just like I WANTED too. Her APGAR’s were a 9 and 10. Just for the record, a 10 in Colorado, is HARD to get. But yes she was a 9 at 1 min, and a 10 at 5 min. We got me out of the tub to deliver the placenta, on the birth stool. It came right out. Easy with a plop!

Then I got in bed, where I ate a grilled cheese, and snuggled and nursed my baby. It was about 50 min from birth til when she latched, but she was happy and not interested sooner. Then we worked on looking at me, sure enough, 2 tears, SAME spots as Azalynn and Kaydence. Labial, so OUCH for peeing lol. But they already feel better. Hardly any swelling, it’s great! We did her exam, she checked out as a 40 wker! So perfect for dates, and then we measured her, 6 lbs 14 oz, and 18 ½ inches long. Not a long as Kaydence, longer than Azalynn, but the heaviest of all, and largest head of all.
Wednesday did get a vit K shot, because I have to take Aspirin for MTHFR, so I’m in a higher risk group for a VKDB (Vit K Deficiency Bleed) baby, so for me it was the right choice for the baby. Oral vit K isn’t really studied, the doses are always changing, and it screws up a virgin gut right off the bat, so we did the injection- ALL babies are born Vit k deficient, the difference is if you’re on certain meds, the risk of a bleed happening is higher.

Getting the pool emptied was an adventure. My dad’s drill pump broke, but he decided to go get a submersion pump for us (THANK YOU DADDY!) and David held it in place for almost 2 hours emptying the pool. Once it was low enough to move, the carried it outside and dumped the rest in the garden. I got my post-partum sitz bath, the herbs are really helping the tears. It’s amazing!-OH and a bit of wonderful advice I got, DEPENDS- So much better than pads and panties lol.

I forgot to add, the girls and my parents came down just minutes after she was earthside, so they got to meet her while I was still in the pool. The girls were so excited. I hope it made a permanent imprint on what normal birth is- and yes I’m glad they were not there when I was pushing her out, they could not have dealt with that at all.

I am so thankful for my wonderful birth team. Jessica, Janet and Bergen, They really held me together when I hit my wall, and I’m even more grateful for how wonderful David was through it all. He really was my rock.

Story reposted with permission of original author, Felicia. Felicia is a size -friendly doula located in Colorado, please check out her business site to contact her and have her attend your birth!

From the Interwebs: "Teach Me How to Breastfeed"

I posted this on the Facebook page a while back, but it's worth reposting! I love how informative AND funny this video is, plus the song is super catchy.

A vent about the "Mommy Wars"

So tired of the freaking mommy wars!!!! 

I know someone whose infant twins are fed breastmilk (she's exclusively pumps because they won't latch, as some preemies tend to do) and formula to supplement. The formula isn't agreeing with them, so she's asking in preemie mom groups, multiples mom groups, etc for suggestions and they're all just giving her sh*t for formula feeding!!!!

I'm all for EBF, and ideally every child would be EBF! But sometimes it can't happen!!! Where's the support for the women that are doing their best and HAVE to supplement as a last resort??? I had horribly low supply and tried EVERYTHING I could think of, and I was able to BF until 9 months but supplemented all the while because the pediatrician was scared that my son was failing to thrive. I cried and suffered so much, but I got no support ANYWHERE. One set of people gave me hell for still insisting on BFing, and the other set gave me hell for "succumbing" to formula, as if I wanted to! 

Ridiculous that even among women that SHOULD understand her, all she gets is judgment. If she were making the amount of milk she's getting (almost a liter a day!!!!!!) with a singleton, she'd be GOLDEN. But because its twins, everyone feels compelled to judge because she's not making enough and needs to feed her children.

Guest Post: "My long, long, long story."

I've been overweight my entire life. At the beginning of this journey, I was 300lbs. I'm 5'2, so that's quite big. I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 13. I was immediately put on birth control to control the symptoms of PCOS, as well as metformin. As time went on, I stopped the metformin because I wasn't trying to conceive as a teenager and thought it was dumb to try.  So at the time I became pregnant, I had been dealing with PCOS for 13 years. Most of those 13 years I was on birth control. About 6 months before I became pregnant, I was tested for PCOS again and it came back that I very obviously had mild to severe PCOS. I was put on metformin and aldactone. A few months later, I moved from Tennessee back to PA and stopped taking the metformin, aldactone, and birth control because I wasn't in a relationship at the time and wasn't able to get my medication because I no longer had insurance.

 I met the father of my baby in July of 2012 and we became a full blown couple in August of 2012. We used condoms, but weren't extremely careful. I wasn't worried because of my history of PCOS.  We broke up September 15th, 2012. Two weeks later (after he moved back to California to be with his family - I live in Pennsylvania. That's 2000+ miles) I found out I was pregnant. For about a week, I had been feeling tired and nauseous, but I just assumed it was from the stress of the breakup and PMS. My mom asked me if I could be pregnant and I told her "Well, technically, yes. But I highly doubt it". She asked when I was supposed to get my period and I told her it would be about a week before I could test, but I was sure my period was coming.

Fast forward to 4 days past when my period was due to start. I worked my 3-11 shift and decided to go to the drug store after work to get a test. I bought a two pack of digital tests because I didn't want any question about the lines. I didn't want to think I was seeing things when it was really negative. I got the tests and went home. Ate something as I always did and went to bed. Around 7am, I got up to use the bathroom and decided to take the first pregnancy test since it would be first morning urine. I sat the test on the sink and went about finishing up. I glanced down at the test less than a minute after taking it and it said "Pregnant". I closed my eyes for a few seconds and looked at it again. Still "Pregnant" I picked up the test and held it close to my face, staring at it. It didn't change. I turned the test every which way, still the same. Still "Pregnant". I took the second test out of the package and tested again. Same thing. "Pregnant" came up before a minute had passed. I started shaking and crying. I went to my bedroom and called my mom. At first I couldn't speak. She became panicked, thinking there was an accident or I was hurt. I squeaked out "I'm pregnant" through my gasps for air. All she said was "You're pregnant? That's not a bad thing!". She's always wanted me to have kids.

So, there I was: 26, 300lbs, major history of PCOS, just broke up with the father of the baby I was apparently carrying, living alone 2 hours from my family, working a full time, physically demanding job. It took me a little while to wrap my head around it. I took pictures of the test and looked at them because I was still in disbelief. A couple hours after taking the test, I called the baby's dad. We had still been in touch since we broke up, so it wasn't terribly weird talking to him. I basically told him to sit down where ever he was. I explained that I took two tests and that we were having a baby. He was in shock, as any man would be in his situation. He didn't talk for a little while. I was crying. I told him he didn't have to come back and that he didn't have to have anything to do with the baby if he didn't want to. I just wanted him to be able to make the decision. He decided he wanted to come back to help me out and be a part of his baby's life. He was back in Pennsylvania 2 weeks later. We decided at that point to work on our friendship because we wanted a healthy relationship (whether it be friendship or romantic) for the baby.

He came with me to my first real appointment at 8 weeks pregnant. The first thing I asked the nurse was "Do women as big as me often have healthy pregnancies and healthy babies?" She let out a little chuckle and said "I see women bigger than you every day that have healthy pregnancies and healthy babies. Don't even worry about that!" I knew then that I was at the right office with the right people. The doctor didn't mention it, she only suggested that I have an early glucose test because of my PCOS history. They tracked my weight like they would any other pregnant woman. They didn't treat me any differently. I ended up losing 10lbs in my first trimester due to my morning sickness. At 10 weeks, they found my baby's heartbeat and I cried. It sounded so perfect. I had my first ultrasound at 13 weeks and my baby looked perfect. I was worried that they would have a hard time seeing the baby because of my weight, but the ultrasound tech didn't seem to even notice.

Everything carried on as normal for a few months.  I wanted to have an all natural birth, but I also knew that things can happen so I decided not to get too used to the idea. The baby's dad and I re-developed feelings for each other and decided to make a go of a romantic relationship with the understanding that we need to make it work. If it ends, it ends for good. Either way, we needed to be mature and civil for the baby. We decided to move closer to my family for support and for childcare after the baby was born. I worked up until the day before we moved (I was 28 weeks), but wasn't able to get a job after we moved. The worst part was switching doctors.

I went to a women's clinic in town and was severely disappointed. The female doctor I saw was horrible. She looked right through me. She ignored my worries about my blood pressure. She did mention my weight and I simply said "I've only gained (this much) and that isn't a problem." After two appointments like this, I decided to find a doctor in my hometown that is an hour from where I live. I'm so glad I did. I went to a new practice that had an OBGYN and a midwife. They were both so wonderful. Never mentioned my weight, but did address my blood pressure. It was only slightly elevated, but they didn’t want to take any chances. I was put on Labetalol twice a day to manage my blood pressure starting at 34 weeks. I had no real side effects from the medication, but it didn’t completely control my blood pressure. At 38 weeks, my doctor decided that inducing me no later than 40 weeks was the best option. This was because of my blood pressure, my family’s history of pre-eclampsia, and also because baby was measuring weeks ahead on every ultrasound since 33 weeks. Luckily, I didn’t develop pre-eclampsia.

I kept trying to bring labor on naturally. Walking, bouncing on a yoga ball, walking up and down the steps, and increasing intercourse (the boyfriend loved that!). I had a few contractions off and on, but nothing significant. So, at 39 weeks and 4 days, I began the induction process. They decided on Prepidil because I was already 1cm dilated and 75% effaced.  The worst part was that I had to stay in bed for 90 minutes after they inserted the Prepidil. It causes spontaneous contractions that, at times, are very painful. I was able to get out of bed and into a jacuzzi after the first round of Prepidil and it was heaven. My contractions evened out and I was handling them well. Sadly, they stopped a couple hours later. I kept walking and trying to bring the contractions back on, but nothing. I did this all day long with very little progression. At about 10pm, they offered to break my water and try another round of Prepidil. I opted for sleep because we had been up since 3am.  They gave me a shot of pain killers to help me rest.

The next morning, they checked me and I was still the same. We did another round of Prepidil. Same thing, eventually my contractions stopped again. I got to 4cm and they broke my water (Strangest feeling ever!). They also gave me some Cytotec. Nothing happened. I made it to 5cm and they said that it was time to try Pitocin. The baby was tolerating everything really well, but there wasn’t much we could do besides the Pitocin. At this point I was exhausted. I had been through about 36 hours of medications, contractions that weren’t doing anything, and plenty of cervical checks. I had heard about the effects of Pitocin and how strong the contractions can be and I decided that it was time to get an epidural. The anesthesiologist wasn’t very nice and it took a few minutes to place the epidural, but it was worth it. I got some relief from the spontaneous contractions and was able to rest. It was also worth it because I couldn’t feel the very uncomfortable cervical checks anymore. They placed a monitor on the baby’s scalp to monitor the heartbeat, and also placed an intrauterine monitor to track my contractions. The pitocin ran the rest of the evening and into the next morning. They jacked it up to the highest setting. My contractions still would not regulate. At about 4am, the baby’s heart rate dropped just a little bit, then again an hour later. My midwife and OBGYN told me that, if I hadn’t progressed any, that it was time to start thinking about a c-section. They checked me at 6am and I was still at 5cm. The baby’s dad and I talked with the midwife and OBGYN and because I wasn’t progressing, plus the baby was starting to show signs of distress, it was time for a c-section. What was nice was that it wasn’t an emergency. Yet. Luckily, all the doctors and anesthesiologists had just come in for their shifts and no one was in the operating room yet, so I didn’t have to wait. Within minutes of getting the order, everyone was in my room, calmly preparing me for surgery. My epidural was working well enough that we could use it for the surgery. Within 30 minutes I was being wheeled away. The baby’s dad joined me in the operating room, of course. All dressed up in those scrubs. There was a second anesthesiologist that was helping with getting me prepped. I called him “the nice one” because he was very friendly and was wonderful at keeping my attention. While he helped wheel me into the OR, he looked at me and said “I think you’re the calmest c-section I’ve seen in a long time!” My reply was simply “I’ve been at this for 48 hours. I’m ready to meet my baby.” He was great. He talked to me the whole time and kept the baby’s dad from looking over the curtain. It felt like an eternity, but eventually he said to me “She’s on her way out! She was very far down into birth canal.”

There was a lot of tugging and pulling and then there she was. They held her up and she looked so mad! They rubbed her a little bit because she didn’t want to cry, but she did a few seconds later. I lost it. I just started crying. They cleaned her up enough that she could open her eyes and made sure she was breathing okay, and then they laid her on my chest. I was so excited to be able to have skin-to-skin contact like that. She laid there in my arms for about 10 minutes and then I began feeling nauseous so I had her dad take her. I watched while they weighed her and finished cleaning her up. The doctor gave me some nausea medication and I actually dozed off on my own. I heard a nurse ask if they had to sedate me and the doctor replied “No, she’s just dozing off on her own! After 48 hours, I’m sure she’s exhausted.” I had to ask for pain medication because my shoulders were killing me. They told me that sometimes gas gets trapped and it’s a pretty common side effect. After that, we were wheeled to my room. We weren’t allowed visitors for an hour. It was just me, my baby and the baby’s dad. Luckily, the pain medication worked well enough that my shoulders quit hurting before we got visitors.

My midwife came to check on me shortly after I got to my room. I was holding my baby and asked her what the red lump on the side of her  head was – if it was from one of the monitors or what. She smiled and said “No one told you? That’s where your baby was trying to come down into your birth canal. Her head was tilted. That’s why she couldn’t move any further down and that’s why you only dilated to 5cm. She was never coming naturally with her head tilted that way. She tried, though. She was pretty far in there!” So, in the end, there was nothing wrong with my body at all. It was simply that my baby girl got a little confused and tilted her head just enough that she simply couldn’t move any further into the birth canal.

My boyfriend had to take care of the baby most of that day because I didn’t get out of bed until later that evening. He was great. Changed all the diapers and would bring her to me any time she looked hungry as I was trying to breastfeed. My pain was being managed well, but I was still exhausted. I basically demanded that they get me out of bed that evening into the chair. They told me that most women don’t get out of bed until the next day, but I was determined.

The next day was pretty rough since my epidural had completely worn off and I could feel my incision. I got up and was walking around, the nurses and my doctor were all surprised I was up. The baby was doing great, latching on like a pro. I went home 5 days after I was admitted.

The first night the baby was home, she screamed and screamed. The hospital had arranged for a home health nurse to come see us because the baby had lost quite a bit of weight in the hospital. Well, she lost even more in the 18 hours that we were home. I had to start supplementing with formula. My milk never came in. I cried and cried, but still tried to breastfeed her in hopes that my milk would come in. Once she started formula, she was a happy camper. She started gaining weight and all was well. My milk never did come in and she’s fully a formula fed baby now.

Two days after we got home from the hospital, I had increased pain and tenderness in my incision site. I called my doctor. It was infected. I don’t want to go into the gory details, but I had some very painful doctors appointments and three rounds of antibiotics. I also had to have home health come in to take care of the wound once a week while my boyfriend took care of it every day. This went on for a month.  I couldn’t see it, thank goodness! I didn’t look at the scar until it was completely healed. It’s nothing. You can barely tell anything is there. My boyfriend was amazing with the whole thing. He diligently took care of my wound, helping me heal physically and emotionally.  He’s also been a great dad. He loves his baby girl and I can see it in his eyes.

Through all of this - every painful and scary minute, having a baby was worth it. I’d go through it all again in a heartbeat. Anna Sophia is beautiful, healthy, and happy.






Guest Post written by Elise Shute, 27 year old momma to Anna, who is named after Elise's grandmother. Elise resides in Pennsylvania, is a pet mommy to a dog and two cats, and enjoys crocheting when she's not playing with Anna

Lactation Cookies, one of many versions!

Here is just one of the many versions of lactation cookies I've found online! It seems every breastfeeding-centered forum and website has their own similar recipe with some differences..

What other versions of this recipe have you tried? And how did they work for you?

INGREDIENTS

• 1 cup butter
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
• 4 tablespoons water
• 2 tablespoons flax seed meal
• 2 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 2 cups flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 3 cups oats
• 1 cup chocolate chips
• 2 -4 tablespoons brewer's yeast

1.  Preheat oven to 350°.
2.  Mix the flaxseed meal and water and let sit for 3-5 minutes.
3.  Beat butter, sugar, and brown sugar well.
4. Add eggs and mix well.
5. Add flaxseed mix and vanilla, beat well.
6. Sift together flour, brewers yeast, baking soda, and salt.
7. Add dry ingredients to butter mix.
8. Stir in oats and chips.
9. Scoop onto baking sheet.
10. Bake for 12 minutes.
11. Let set for a couple minutes then remove from tray.

My Favorite Mommy/Baby Apps

I LOVE my iPhone. I was resistant to leave behind my Blackberry but since 2008, I haven't looked back! Now I don't know how I ever survived without my iPhone!

I always used my phone to take photos, blog, Facebook, etc...but now as a mom, it's as functional as it is fun! I decided to put together a list of my favorite mommy/baby apps that I use on a daily basis.

Name: iBreastfeed
Price: FREE
How I use it: This app lets you track diaper changes, breast, bottle or solid feeding, and even has a miscellaneous feature so you can track medications, etc. What I use it for is tracking how long and when Bubu sleeps. It's very helpful to check for patterns, see if there's differences in sleep when there's diet changes, etc. I use this app every single day.


Name: iBaby Feed Timer
Price: $1.99
How I use it: As the name suggests, this app is used to time breastfeeding sessions, or to input bottle feedings or pumping sessions. All of these things can be handled by the Medela app, but I prefer the interface of this app. It also includes a notes section with each bottle feeding so you can write down whether it was formula or breast milk, whether there was cereal in the bottle, etc. This is another app that I use every day, several times a day.

Name: Baby Milestones 1st Year
Price: $1.99
How I use it: I don't use this app every day, but my husband and I open it together every few weeks to see what milestones we can look forward to in the coming month, to see what Bubu is already doing, etc. It explains physical, social and cognitive development on a monthly basis for the first year of your baby's life.

Name: Instagram
Price: FREE
How I use it: Ok, so this isn't a baby app per se, but I DO use it everyday with my baby! I've been using instagram since late 2010, before anyone knew it existed (LOL) and as a consequence, I've been able to easily chronicle my pregnancy and literally every day of my baby's life with my iPhone! The best thing about that is I use services like Stickygram, Keepsy and Blurb to make magnets, albums and calendars with these photos so that I have tangible keepsakes of everyday snapshots of my Bu!



That's about it! I have several other apps of this type on my phone, but these are the ones I rely on most. Tell me about your favorite apps!
 

Setting my intentions

Some backstory:
I have been slowly getting crunchier and crunchier since 2011 when I got pregnant with my one and only little guy, who is known as Bu on the interwebs :) I am basically the only remotely crunchy mom I know IRL, and I'm used to getting stares for baby-wearing, what I feed my son, my discipline style, etc. I am also in the middle of a lifestyle change while eating as few processed foods as possible because my husband and I hope to TTC when Bu is 3, and I am trying desperately to have a VBAC. I had a 46 hour augmented labor without pain medication that ended in an emergency c-section, and I want to be able to have the birth experience that I felt I worked for the first time around.

I have constantly and consistently run across opposition since I got pregnant, due mostly to my size or my desire to raise my son in an attached, natural manner. I found that a lot of the time, I felt unsupported in my choices, and sometimes became unsure regardless of how much research I'd done and how sure I was that a given path was the path I wanted to take.

I've shared most every detail of my pregnancy, labor and delivery on the internet, as much for my own reflection as to hopefully educate and inspire others that if you want to do something, you can do it. The education and support is out there if you seek it out. I found several like minded moms online and learned from them about cloth diapering, breastfeeding, cosleeping, babywearing...and whatever they couldn't answer for me, I sought elsewhere. I became obsessed with learning all I could because if my pregnancy and labor taught ME anything, it was that no one will advocate for you like you can.

I have joined several groups and forums now, from crunchy living pages to VBAC support groups, and found that the one thing missing was a page for plus size moms to get together and discuss all of these things. I created Plus Size and Pregnant to fill that gap, and three months later we are a handful shy of 100 members.

I've become sort of notorious among my friends for having as much knowledge as opinions on parenting and labor, so a lot of my non-plus-size friends have sought advice from me as well. "Wouldn't it be wonderful," I thought, "to train specifically in labor, delivery and parenting practices so I could REALLY turn my passion into a calling?"

Hence, Momma Friendly. I want to help all moms, moms to be, and anyone who's ever wanted to be a parent. As long as you're interested  in doing what's best for your children, future or otherwise, I want to do what I can to make that happen. I am about to start training to become a postpartum doula, and I will be talking about that in this blog. In the meantime, I am going to keep bringing articles and resources about related topics, sharing my experiences and thoughts, and answering any questions I receive from any interested parties. If I cannot answer your question myself, I will do my best to point you in the direction of the right resources.

Thank you for reading. I look forward to sharing with and learning from you all!