The Importance of Birth Plans...

Birth Plans are a great idea for any pregnant person to have ready! We all know birth is unpredictable and having a "plan" in place is no guarantee that anything will go in any particular way. However, the great thing about putting together a Birth Plan is that it makes you think about how you'd want things to go ideally…and it helps prepare you for the alternatives.

There are so many interventions that you may wish to avoid (or elect to have) during your birth experience, and preparing your Birth Plan is a great way to discover what all these interventions are and what they mean for you and your baby. I found that for my pregnancy, the easiest thing for me to do was find a template for a birth plan (BabyCenter has a good one HERE) and then researched the options in each section to determine what best fit my preferences.

You can start putting together your preferences as early as your first trimester, although the recommendation is to have some sort of idea ready by your 5th month of pregnancy. It's important to know as early as possible what is important to you (for example, perhaps you absolutely DO NOT wish to have continuous monitoring so you can move freely during labor, or maybe you absolutely NEED to eat and drink during labor) so that you can discuss these things with your care provider. The reason it's best to do this early is because it gives you the best chance of finding a doctor or midwife you LOVE, should you decide your current care provider is not the best match for the type of birth experience you have in mind. *By the way, remember you can ALWAYS change doctors…even at the very VERY last minute!

If you and your care provider agree that your plan is feasible and safe, and you are SURE your provider is giving you the best possible care and not just considering what is most convenient for THEM, then a good idea is to have the doctor sign your birth plan. It's not in any way a binding contract or anything, but the idea is that if you go into labor and arrive at the hospital or birth center before your care provider does, you can have something to show the nurses and support staff that shows that your care provider is on board with your preferences. It's also important to have several copies on the day of the birth for the nurses, your doula, etc. Every one that comes in contact with you during your labor should see your birth plan, to avoid miscommunications or misunderstandings.

You can include things in your birth plan regarding pain management, what you wish to happen to the baby immediately after birth (like immediate skin to skin and waiting to do newborn exams for an hour so you have a chance to bond, for example), and your plans for feeding your baby (bottle or exclusively breast feeding?).

It's definitely important to be flexible and be ready to forgive yourself if things don't go exactly as you'd hoped…The most important thing is to be educated about all of your options so that if things DO need to go in a different direction, you are equipped to make the best choices for you and your baby. Remember, even if your Birth Plan doesn't come to fruition, preparing one is always beneficial because it familiarizes you with your options (and their risks and benefits), and the policies of your care center and provider.

What advice would you give a first time mother about preparing a birth plan? What is something you think every plan should include?

My Motivation...

I wanted to take a moment to do a post explaining a bit of my motivation behind the things I write on this blog.

I don't write these things to tell you why the things other parents do are "wrong" or why some options are "better than" others, really. I had my son over two years ago, and was pregnant three years ago. I thought before I got pregnant that I knew everything I needed to know about pregnancy, delivery and babies. Once I actually WAS pregnant, I realized how much more there was to learn!

When the time came to have my son, I didn't think I could possible be more prepared or more knowledgable. I was SO wrong! Hahaha! I found myself questioning (and researching) everything I thought was true about nursing, formula, vaccines, cloth diapering, EVERYTHING. Once I thought I was pretty well-armed with information, I decided I could put all this knowledge to use...I started this blog and began looking into doula training and childbirth class education. MIND BLOWN.

The point is, there's always something out there to learn. Many of the things that most surprised me about the things I've learned since this all began with those two little blue lines is that there are so many OPTIONS for EVERYTHING! You have an option and a choice for everything, even things that you didn't imagine you had any choice about. From cervical checks to refusing induction to asking for natural alternatives for a baby's prescription...you always have a choice even when others might make you seem you don't!

Doctors, nurses, family, friends...they all mean well (and sometimes they don't) but in the end, no one but you and your children have to live with the consequences of the choices you make for your family. I post here about things I learn, things I find, things other moms or moms-to-be share with me...but it's all here for you! Not to sway you one way or another, but to introduce you to the idea that conventional paths aren't the ONLY paths. Even if something you read here only inspires you to research the topic for the sake of discrediting me ;) I think that's great! Because that means that something in this little corner of the internet led to someone making an informed choice when it comes to their child's well being. That's all I can ask for and that's what I aim for. 

Guest Post - "A Breech Birth at Home"

I remember the first time I even heard about breach births. It was in one of my high school textbooks and it sounded scary. A couple years later I watched a documentary about “freebirthing.” One woman gave birth to her baby in the bath tub completely on her own, and the baby was breach. The baby was fine though. I remember thinking, “Is she crazy?! Her baby could have died!” Fast forward many years later... I’m already a mama of one precious boy, born in a hospital but with no drugs whatsoever. I’m pregnant with a baby girl and have decided that since I had such an easy time with my first labor that I’m going to go for a home birth. It’s funny how time and research can change your mind about anything. I never imagined as a teenager that I would be one of those women giving birth at home.

 As the time to give birth came closer and closer I was just excited as can be. All my midwife appointments were great, the pregnancy was progressing normally, and I was confident that everything would turn out just fine. Well, it did turn out fine, but not without one big surprise.

 My contractions started on a Monday morning and two hours later I was already in the birthing tub getting ready to push. I was in intense pain. With all my might I pushed that baby out and felt some relief. I looked down into the water and all I saw was legs and a body. Her head was still inside of me. I didn’t know what to think. There had never been any indication throughout my pregnancy that she was breach. “Is she stuck?!” were the only words I could manage to spit out. “No, push,” my midwife told me. So I did. And out she popped. I held my baby girl in my arms. She was perfect. I couldn’t believe she was breach. I couldn’t believe she had come out with such ease. I couldn’t believe this was our story and how blessed we were.

 I used to be afraid of breech birth, but through my own personal experience I learned that it doesn’t have to be scary. Thankfully my midwife knew what she was doing (she had recently completed some training on breach birthing) and didn’t panic. My home birth was the most amazing experience and it taught me that women are incredible and capable of so much.

Kristel is a stay-at-home wife (to Alex) and mom (to Liam and Isabel). She lives in Miami, FL and blogs about faith, family, and fun over at Glowing Light. You can also find her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. 

Check out more information on breech babies in this post, and read about Felicia's cesarean due to breech here. I hope this series has helped provide some insight into breech presentation and shown that the right environment and a supportive care provider can make the difference in getting the birth you want and deserve!

Guest Post - "Cesarean SOLELY Due to Breech"

 In 2009, I was pregnant with my first daughter. It was a very uneventful pregnancy even though I gained about 50lbs during the 9 months making me 300lbs at the time of birth. She was head down from somewhere around 35 weeks till 42 and I was starting to dilate and efface. I went in to my 42 week OB appointment at which they did a U/S to check on the baby. Turned out she was had flipped to breech at 42 weeks.

It all happened so fast in the office, after they found out she was breech they wouldn't check me at all because suddenly now my only option was a c-section. The OB brought us into his office to talk about it and told me I was going to have a c-section because I was 42 weeks and she was breech, if she hadn't been breech they would have let me be. I started crying right there, I hadn't ever thought I would be having a c-section... I had a textbook perfect pregnancy and she had been head down!

I asked if there was anything we could do and I was told no. He told me to stop crying because I was crying for no reason at all but that didn't help, I knew this was a major surgery. I remember my husband commenting after we got out of there that he wanted to punch the OB because of how he was acting. He was very rude and made me feel stupid for crying when they told me I had to have a major abdominal surgery I had not been expecting. I cried off and on for the next two days, I was scared because I'd never had a surgery in my life and now I had to have this one. I had been looking forward to going into labor so I could meet my sweet little girl but now I was dreading giving birth.

When I showed up for the c-section they put me on monitors, checked that she was still breech and told me I was having contractions I just couldn't feel them yet. I was crying a little bit when she was born, I hadn't wanted it this way but she was healthy and I was going to be ok so I thought maybe that was all that mattered right then. I didn't find out about ECV (external cephalic version), spinningbabies.com or that I could have just not gone to the c-section because they can not do anything without your consent until after my surgery. I was so angry when I found out there had indeed been stuff I could have tried to turn her back to breech and avoided that surgery. I was angry that I never got to experience labor, I was angry at myself for having not switched OBs like I had thought about earlier in the pregnancy and vowed to never let myself be talked into another c-section.

I had learned that I couldn't just rely on the word of the people I was seeing, I had to research for myself these things and stand up for what I wanted so in 2013 I gave birth again this time vaginally because I had this previous experience my next one went exactly how I wanted. I didn't let anyone stand in my way, even went so far as not having a OB from 26weeks to 34weeks because the first OB tried to schedule me for a c-section at 40+3 days and I knew because of my older daughter that I likely wouldn't be going into labor till 42 weeks. I did what I had to to find someone who would support me properly so now I try to help other women out there by giving them the knowledge I didn't have during my first pregnancy to prevent them from having unnecessary c-sections.

Felicia is a mother of two little girls living in the Midwest.

Breech Presentation...What? Why? How?

A baby in "breech" position is basically considered an automatic cesarean, at least in the United States. Many doctors are no longer trained in breech deliveries, and so the immediate conclusion that they come to is that mom will need major abdominal surgery due to their lack of training. It is what it is, right?

Wrong.


What is Breech?

• Frank Breech, which tends to be the most favorable. This is when baby’s bottom presents first and feet are by the head.
• Footling Breech is when baby has one or both feet presenting first.
• Complete Breech is when your baby is comfy sitting cross legged.

Why won’t my doctor do a vaginal breech birth?
This could be due to a variety of reasons:

• They may not have a lot of experience attending vaginal breech births.
• May not feel comfortable attending vaginal breech births.
  
• May have had a bad experience in the past.
  
• There may not be suitable back-up at the hospital where they practice (on call anesthetists, pediatricians, experienced midwives, 24 hour operating room staff).
  
• They may not believe in vaginal breech birth.
  
• Defensive practice in current childbirth culture means that doctors are more likely to err on the side of intervention (cesarean section) rather than non-intervention (vaginal birth).
  
• It is easier for a doctor to perform a cesarean section than a skilled vaginal breech birth.
  
• Cesarean is an accepted birth method in today’s culture.

How should I approach my child's breech position?
*Do nothing.
Depending how many weeks pregnant you are, you may decide just to wait for your baby to turn. The majority of babies turn spontaneously pre-term.

*Non-medical turning
Alternatively, there are various non-medical turning techniques you can try.  You can read more on Spinning Babies. 
 
*Look for a care-provider who will support you in whatever option you choose
Many maternity care-providers do not support vaginal breech birth and will advise a planned cesarean section at 38 or 39 weeks if your baby does not turn.  This is partly because most obstetricians and midwives do not possess skills in vaginal breech birth and so they are unable to offer this option safely. However, depending on various maternal and fetal factors, vaginal breech birth is not necessarily any riskier than cesarean section, particularly with the support of an experienced attendant. 

Before 37 weeks of pregnancy, breech presentation is much more common - about 20% of babies at 28 weeks are breech, and 15% at 32 weeks. Before term, which is defined as 37 weeks, it doesn't matter if the baby is breech, as there is always a good chance that she will turn spontaneously. Some babies do turn by themselves after this time, but it is much less likely, and some preparations should be made to decide how delivery is going to take place. About 10% to 15% of breech babies are discovered for the first time late in labor!


Very soon, I will post two guest birth stories. One of these stories is from Felicia, who had a cookie-cutter, non-complicated pregnancy but was forced into cesarean delivery solely due to a breech presentation. The second is from Kristel, whose daughter came out booty-first at home in the water. These ladies are examples of how having supportive care providers can make the difference between the birth experience you want and the experience that is forced upon you.

Further Reading:
Spinning Babies 
The Webster Technique
Breech Decision Making Sheet

UPDATE: Please click HERE for the Breech Babies tab, so you can read the birth stories mentioned above and any other resources on this site regarding breech babies.



Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4

Guest Post: “It was the worst of times…. Another infertility story”

There is a deep feeling of pain every month, one you hopefully will not become used to. But for many of us, it’s all to familiar a feeling: you got your period this month, again.

We had hit the 18 month mark before I had to stop counting. For the first few months, aunt flow came with all my familiar cramps and pains, and I would smile through the rest of the week with shrug: it was healthy not to get pregnant right away. Then the second half of that next year, I would get a little more down trodden, but I had nowhere to turn. By the end of the first year, I was a mess every month when the “crimson tide” started, because I knew it meant one thing…Not pregnant yet.

I didn’t have a lot of support. My family thought I was too young to start a family: every time it came up, the infamous “I’m too young to be a grandma” would rear its head, and I would just smile and nod, pretending that I wasn’t doing everything I could to get knocked up. My husband didn’t truly understand my anguish, because as a man you just don’t worry about these kinds of things. My girlfriends all had different agendas, finishing school and finding careers. My first doctor shrugged me off as a fat, young girl that needed to hold her horses. At 23, I was hit with this feeling that I would not ever get the family I had dreamed of as a kid.

I watched friend after friend post new baby updates, and with each one, I found the “hide” setting. I wanted to be happy for them, but I couldn’t be happy. My husband’s close friend from work had a new baby boy, and I broke down in our bedroom before going to see them, while he watched not sure what to say. A cousin in the family got pregnant: no job, not married, not readily paying her bills and moved back home with her mom shortly after finding out she was pregnant- and hasn’t left- and it was all on accident. Barely out of high school, she couldn’t take care of herself, much less the dead-beat father she was trying to support and a new baby. But she was given the greatest miracle in the world, to be a mom, and I was a bitter because I wanted it to be me!

It broke my heart. I cried myself to sleep. I laid awake guilt ridden at all hours of the night. I kept a journal about how unfair it all was, and how broken I felt. No matter how much I tried, or how much I wanted to get pregnant, my body just wouldn’t. I watched the months tick by, and knew that all these “delays” were adding up. It would make the difference between my husband’s Grandmother meeting our daughter –he was her favorite grandson- because her health did not allow her to stay with us that long. I blamed myself a lot, and brought myself down. I let myself hit the lowest of lows, truly believed that this was just not going to happen for us. In order to write this post, I went back through those old journals, and it made my heart hurt all over again.

I have mild PCOS: the cysts on my ovaries were not very large, and the extra chemical progesterone was only mildly over what it should have been. We had my thyroid tested, and all came back clear. I could grow facial hair like my husband, and had gained weight over the years that I really didn’t link up with the PCOS until now. I was one of the lucky ones, where in a 12 month span, I would only skip a period 2 or 3 times because I hadn’t ovulated that month. My first doctor did not run additional tests at all, other than the basic ultrasound, and left me with the diagnosis to see her again in a year and lose weight. Notice how I said first… if you don’t like or agree with your doctor now, do you think you will later, when you do get pregnant? Ditch any negative nancies now, and find a new OB/GYN that is willing to help!

After the close to two years of trying of trying, I really stopped counting. I looked up adoption, starting writing up a biography about us, and started looking up what kind of fees I would need to pay, and how I was going to save up for them. I forced my husband to see his doctor –and let me remind every one of you beautiful, hurting ladies: it takes two to tango here! His test results were similar to mine: again, we were sent away with a diagnosis of lose weight, try harder, and then it’ll work. I then turned into some sort of monster: I blamed him for not taking his vitamins, drinking one more soda than he should have, putting his left shoe on before his right… Things that were totally unrelated became a bullet point on my vendetta list. I went from sobbing emotional sad-sack to bitter bitch-zilla in a 10 minute span (influenced mildly by Clomid) and I was not fun to be around, even to myself, I would realize later.

I won’t sit here and tell you what the magic trick is to being okay with not being okay. Take a moment to yourself, don’t just pretend and smile through the day. There are days you are going to need to cry it all out, nights you just need loud music, or a quiet hot bath. It gets much harder before it will ever be easier, but it does make victory so much sweeter. Here’s the thing: you can throw as much as you want into your fertility, but there’s never a guarantee that it’ll be enough. Take each month in stride, make positive changes, and do what you can to help yourself.

I’m no expert, but I do have some experience in the area. If your doctor is unwilling to help you, there are a lot of things you can do to help yourself. Start by knowing as much as you can about fertility: learn how to track your cycles, find those ‘super foods’ the internet talks about, cut out the bad things from your life, like smoking, before you begin to try. My favorite book was “The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant” by Heidi Murkoff. I read it three times through or more. There’s certainly a lot to learn, and a lot to change. Because it takes two, you also want to help your partner make changes too: quitting smoking, reducing alcohol and coffee intake, even switching to different underwear. I highly suggest you both take a prenatal vitamin: part of this suggestion though, I would use an empty bottle of vitamin whatever and fill it with prenatals, if your partner isn’t as on board as you are. Folic acid for him is equally as good as it is for you! Sperm is, however, made in advance, so what you are using today was actually “created” 3 months prior. Changes on your partners side will take effect 2 to 3 months later.

Use the time you have before being pregnant to do things you wanted to learn to do: I am thankful I had a chance to learn to crochet before we had baby-on-board. I got a second dog, and trained him before we got pregnant (another blessing in so many ways!). I could financially prepare for what we were going to need, and the delay was a good thing,  that allowed my husband to change jobs to something more reliable, with a higher wage which was nice too. Maybe it’s a trip to Hawaii you’ve always been dreaming of, or learning professional photography. Keep your partners feelings in mind too: maybe there’s something he would like to do before baby too, and squeeze these simple pleasures and new hobbies in beforehand. For secondary infertility, enjoy your first child just a little longer. Make a few fun outings that you don’t normally, like a road trip to the beach, and just enjoy their excitement. Soon, you’ll have to try to find time for two, and you’ll miss these days.

In the end, do what makes sense to you. Your mind knows what it wants. If you just need to rant, or cry, or hit something, find a constructive way to do it! You are doing all you can, and good things really do take time. Surround yourself with people you can talk to, doctors whom you trust and respect their advice, and who are there to help you through your struggle, not just shrug you off with a “lose weight” or “get older” verdict. There is no magic trick to getting pregnant, no wonderful pill you can take and make it easier. Anyone who has never had trouble getting pregnant has no idea what it feels like, and they give bad advice –take it with a grain of salt. Talk about it, even if it’s just to a word document on your computer, or a notebook at home, and let go of all your frustrations and unwind! You are not ever, ever alone in this journey!

So, my last piece of advice. Go into the bathroom, look at yourself in the mirror. Tell yourself that “We are going to do this!”. Repeat every day. You really are going to be able to do this, in your body’s own time. And, that feeling every month? It makes it totally worth it in the end!



Amanda P. is a soon-to-be mom from Arizona. She works at an airline call center and also has a website that you can check out here. Sending Amanda lots of well wishes, as she is due to give birth February 2014!

My Birth Plan Revisited

 Originally posted in 2011 at Plus Size Preggo

 Spoke to an OB at my practice yesterday (they rotate so you get to know everyone), and I was pretty disappointed with what I was told about my birth plan, even PO’ed at one point…As I told my sister, who came to the appointment with me: “Unless something magical happens during birth that makes me want to blow everyone in that hospital, I am NOT going to do a hospital birth with the next baby!” (Blunt but true story LOL)



* I’d like the following people to be present during labor and/or birth: My husband, my sister, and my mother. “OK”

* I’d like to wear my own clothes during labor and delivery. "OK, but you probably won’t want to"

* I’d like to take pictures and/or video during labor and delivery. “Only allowed BEFORE labor, AFTER birth and NOT during newborn tests”

* I’d like the option of returning home if I’m not in active labor. "OK"
* Once I’m admitted, I’d like my partner to be allowed to stay with me at all times. "OK"

* Once I’m admitted, I’d like to eat if I wish to. "Not going to happen"

* Once I’m admitted, I’d like to try to stay hydrated by drinking clear fluids instead of having an IV. "Not going to happen, either"

* Once I’m admitted, I’d like to walk and move around as I choose. “You’ll be strapped to a monitor so you can walk as long as you’re not far from the edge of the bed” read: NO.

* As long as the baby and I are doing fine, I’d like to have intermittent rather than continuous electronic fetal monitoring. "We can do it, but it’d be a nuisance." read: "Not going to happen"

* As long as the baby and I are doing fine, I’d like to be allowed to progress free of stringent time limits and have my labor augmented only if necessary. "OK"

* If available, I’d like to try a birthing ball, birthing stool, squatting bar, and/or a birthing tub/pool. “What are these things?” I WISH I was kidding.

* I’d like to try the following pain-management techniques: bath/shower, hot/cold therapy, massage. "No bathing or showering, stay home and do that until you MUST come to the hospital"
* Please don’t offer me pain medication. I’ll request it if I need it. "Make sure you tell them that at the hospital" I thought that’s what the point of THIS was?

* If I decide I want medicinal pain relief, I’d prefer regional analgesia (an epidural and/or spinal block). "OK"

* When it’s time to push, I’d like to be coached on when to push and for how long. "OK"

* I’d like to try the following positions for pushing (and birth): semi-reclining, squatting, hands and knees, whatever feels right at the time… "We’re not equipped for that" read: "Not going to happen"

* During delivery, I’d like to give birth without an episiotomy. Again, “Make sure you tell them that”. Um, will do.

* After birth, I’d like to hold my baby right away, putting off any procedures that aren’t urgent. "OK"

* After birth, I’d like to breastfeed as soon as possible. "OK"

* After birth, I’d like not to get oxytocin (Pitocin) after I deliver the placenta unless it’s necessary. This is where I got pissed. "Well, we will do that so you don’t bleed. I mean, you’re going to bleed anyway…but we’re physicians. This is what we do." Uh-huh. So basically, fuck yourself. We’re medicating you one way or the other.

* After birth, I’d like my partner to cut the umbilical cord. "OK"

* If I have a c-section, I’d like my partner present at all times during the operation. "OK"
 
* If I have a c-section, I’d like the baby to be given to my partner as soon as he’s dried, if appropriate. "OK"

* If I have a c-section, I’d like to breastfeed my baby in the recovery room. "OK"

* I’m planning to bank cord blood privately. "OK"

* After delivery, I’d like all newborn procedures to take place in my presence. "OK"

* After delivery, I’d like my partner to stay with the baby at all times if I can’t be there. "OK"

* I’d like 24-hour rooming-in with my baby. "After the birth, ALL babies go to the nursery for a bit, but then he’s all yours" I almost clawed at her face when she said that. I’m going to fight this one.

* I plan to breastfeed EXCLUSIVELY. "OK"

* Do not offer my baby: formula, sugar water, a pacifier. "OK"

* I do NOT want my baby circumcised. "OK"

* I’d like to wait and see how I feel before deciding about the timing of hospital discharge. "OK"



So I reiterate…I knew I’d be disappointed because I was expecting too much from a hospital, but for the most part, I expected this. Next go round, once I know I can successfully have a birth without complications, it’s birthing center all the way!!!

Guest Post : "Jellybean’s Arrival (VBAC)"

When I learned I was pregnant with my second child, I was so excited and thankful. I immediately began planning for my VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). With my first child, I had a scheduled cesarean section for various reasons: Borderline high blood pressure, high optic nerve pressure, and an unusually shaped pelvis that wouldn’t be able to birth a baby. My asthma and obesity further complicated things and my OB/GYN felt that a planned c-section would be the best option for both of us. I was young and somewhat scared of childbirth pain, so I went along with the plan. My first child arrived in 2003 at 6 pounds, 6 ounces.

I began seeing a local OB/GYN for my second pregnancy in the summer of 2010. There were bumps along the road and various things caused me to heighten my guard. I learned that my local hospital banned VBACs, so I began searching for another way to have my VBAC. I don’t think it truly hit me that I was going to have to have a repeat c-section until the OB/GYN began discussing the date of the scheduled c-section.

Bethany and Heidi, a couple of wonderful homebirth midwives and I finally connected in December 2010. I wasn’t sure if I would be a good candidate for a home birth because my “problems” in my first pregnancy were still problems in my second pregnancy (aside from the high optic nerve pressure). Some friends of mine had been successful with home births, but I was still a little apprehensive. I continued to read information online and I purchased Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. Following a friend’s advice, my husband and I watched The Business of Being Born and that was a turning point for us. We were both convinced that we needed to pursue a home birth as long as Bethany agreed. After some discussion with her, we hired her as our midwife.

Throughout the rest of my pregnancy, Bethany and I were in constant contact. She gave me her cell phone number and told me to call or text any time with questions. I was also able to email her. We communicated at least once a week, sometimes several times a week. I saw her for my prenatal care and she monitored the same things the OB/GYN had been monitoring: blood pressure, fundal height, fetal heart rate, weight, urine protein levels, group b strep status, etc. Bethany explained everything to me in a very calm manner and my questions were answered to my satisfaction. This was a completely new level of prenatal care for me. I was used to being in and out of the OB/GYN’s office in 30 minutes or less and my appointments with Bethany usually took 30 minutes to an hour.
My water broke on Thursday around 6 PM, at 40 weeks, 6 days gestation. Labor started slowly and did not become “regular” until nearly 24 hours later after lots of walking and stairs. I called Bethany around 3 AM Friday and she came right away, along with Heidi who would be assisting her for the delivery. Bethany assessed baby and I. Her experience told her that it would be awhile before baby arrived. After several hours, we discussed our options and decided to try some natural things to encourage labor and Bethany and Heidi would leave for a few hours. Bethany shared a contraction timer with us and instructed us to call her when the contractions became three to four minutes apart with regularity.

Contractions picked up and we called Bethany to return around 6 PM. My pregnancy was now 41 weeks gestation and she wrote “looks serious” in her notes. She and my husband supported me through the contractions. A few hours later, Bethany called Heidi and told her it was time to come. Heidi and Bethany took turns encouraging me to breathe through my contractions and applying a cool washcloth to my head and neck. Blood pressure, fetal heart tones, and my temperature were monitored closely throughout my labor. Around 2:30 AM, I felt pushy and Bethany declared that I was complete after a quick cervical check.

Baby was now 41 weeks 1 day gestational age and he would be arriving soon. I pushed in various places and positions: standing, sitting on the couch, sitting on the birthing stool, leaning back against the couch, and side-lying on the couch. Baby’s head emerged with the cord around his neck. Bethany quickly unwrapped the cord and baby’s body came in the next minute. I had just birthed my 9 pound, 2 ounce son!

For me, the right choice was to birth with a Bethany and Heidi. If we’re blessed with more children, we will do the same again.

Megan

Story reposted with permission from Megan Brust, original author. Megan is a mother of 2 and a VBAC veteran. Megan is a Birth Doula in Springfield, Oregon. Find out more about her services at her business page, Abundant Life Birth Services. 

Guest Post: "My long, long, long story."

I've been overweight my entire life. At the beginning of this journey, I was 300lbs. I'm 5'2, so that's quite big. I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 13. I was immediately put on birth control to control the symptoms of PCOS, as well as metformin. As time went on, I stopped the metformin because I wasn't trying to conceive as a teenager and thought it was dumb to try.  So at the time I became pregnant, I had been dealing with PCOS for 13 years. Most of those 13 years I was on birth control. About 6 months before I became pregnant, I was tested for PCOS again and it came back that I very obviously had mild to severe PCOS. I was put on metformin and aldactone. A few months later, I moved from Tennessee back to PA and stopped taking the metformin, aldactone, and birth control because I wasn't in a relationship at the time and wasn't able to get my medication because I no longer had insurance.

 I met the father of my baby in July of 2012 and we became a full blown couple in August of 2012. We used condoms, but weren't extremely careful. I wasn't worried because of my history of PCOS.  We broke up September 15th, 2012. Two weeks later (after he moved back to California to be with his family - I live in Pennsylvania. That's 2000+ miles) I found out I was pregnant. For about a week, I had been feeling tired and nauseous, but I just assumed it was from the stress of the breakup and PMS. My mom asked me if I could be pregnant and I told her "Well, technically, yes. But I highly doubt it". She asked when I was supposed to get my period and I told her it would be about a week before I could test, but I was sure my period was coming.

Fast forward to 4 days past when my period was due to start. I worked my 3-11 shift and decided to go to the drug store after work to get a test. I bought a two pack of digital tests because I didn't want any question about the lines. I didn't want to think I was seeing things when it was really negative. I got the tests and went home. Ate something as I always did and went to bed. Around 7am, I got up to use the bathroom and decided to take the first pregnancy test since it would be first morning urine. I sat the test on the sink and went about finishing up. I glanced down at the test less than a minute after taking it and it said "Pregnant". I closed my eyes for a few seconds and looked at it again. Still "Pregnant" I picked up the test and held it close to my face, staring at it. It didn't change. I turned the test every which way, still the same. Still "Pregnant". I took the second test out of the package and tested again. Same thing. "Pregnant" came up before a minute had passed. I started shaking and crying. I went to my bedroom and called my mom. At first I couldn't speak. She became panicked, thinking there was an accident or I was hurt. I squeaked out "I'm pregnant" through my gasps for air. All she said was "You're pregnant? That's not a bad thing!". She's always wanted me to have kids.

So, there I was: 26, 300lbs, major history of PCOS, just broke up with the father of the baby I was apparently carrying, living alone 2 hours from my family, working a full time, physically demanding job. It took me a little while to wrap my head around it. I took pictures of the test and looked at them because I was still in disbelief. A couple hours after taking the test, I called the baby's dad. We had still been in touch since we broke up, so it wasn't terribly weird talking to him. I basically told him to sit down where ever he was. I explained that I took two tests and that we were having a baby. He was in shock, as any man would be in his situation. He didn't talk for a little while. I was crying. I told him he didn't have to come back and that he didn't have to have anything to do with the baby if he didn't want to. I just wanted him to be able to make the decision. He decided he wanted to come back to help me out and be a part of his baby's life. He was back in Pennsylvania 2 weeks later. We decided at that point to work on our friendship because we wanted a healthy relationship (whether it be friendship or romantic) for the baby.

He came with me to my first real appointment at 8 weeks pregnant. The first thing I asked the nurse was "Do women as big as me often have healthy pregnancies and healthy babies?" She let out a little chuckle and said "I see women bigger than you every day that have healthy pregnancies and healthy babies. Don't even worry about that!" I knew then that I was at the right office with the right people. The doctor didn't mention it, she only suggested that I have an early glucose test because of my PCOS history. They tracked my weight like they would any other pregnant woman. They didn't treat me any differently. I ended up losing 10lbs in my first trimester due to my morning sickness. At 10 weeks, they found my baby's heartbeat and I cried. It sounded so perfect. I had my first ultrasound at 13 weeks and my baby looked perfect. I was worried that they would have a hard time seeing the baby because of my weight, but the ultrasound tech didn't seem to even notice.

Everything carried on as normal for a few months.  I wanted to have an all natural birth, but I also knew that things can happen so I decided not to get too used to the idea. The baby's dad and I re-developed feelings for each other and decided to make a go of a romantic relationship with the understanding that we need to make it work. If it ends, it ends for good. Either way, we needed to be mature and civil for the baby. We decided to move closer to my family for support and for childcare after the baby was born. I worked up until the day before we moved (I was 28 weeks), but wasn't able to get a job after we moved. The worst part was switching doctors.

I went to a women's clinic in town and was severely disappointed. The female doctor I saw was horrible. She looked right through me. She ignored my worries about my blood pressure. She did mention my weight and I simply said "I've only gained (this much) and that isn't a problem." After two appointments like this, I decided to find a doctor in my hometown that is an hour from where I live. I'm so glad I did. I went to a new practice that had an OBGYN and a midwife. They were both so wonderful. Never mentioned my weight, but did address my blood pressure. It was only slightly elevated, but they didn’t want to take any chances. I was put on Labetalol twice a day to manage my blood pressure starting at 34 weeks. I had no real side effects from the medication, but it didn’t completely control my blood pressure. At 38 weeks, my doctor decided that inducing me no later than 40 weeks was the best option. This was because of my blood pressure, my family’s history of pre-eclampsia, and also because baby was measuring weeks ahead on every ultrasound since 33 weeks. Luckily, I didn’t develop pre-eclampsia.

I kept trying to bring labor on naturally. Walking, bouncing on a yoga ball, walking up and down the steps, and increasing intercourse (the boyfriend loved that!). I had a few contractions off and on, but nothing significant. So, at 39 weeks and 4 days, I began the induction process. They decided on Prepidil because I was already 1cm dilated and 75% effaced.  The worst part was that I had to stay in bed for 90 minutes after they inserted the Prepidil. It causes spontaneous contractions that, at times, are very painful. I was able to get out of bed and into a jacuzzi after the first round of Prepidil and it was heaven. My contractions evened out and I was handling them well. Sadly, they stopped a couple hours later. I kept walking and trying to bring the contractions back on, but nothing. I did this all day long with very little progression. At about 10pm, they offered to break my water and try another round of Prepidil. I opted for sleep because we had been up since 3am.  They gave me a shot of pain killers to help me rest.

The next morning, they checked me and I was still the same. We did another round of Prepidil. Same thing, eventually my contractions stopped again. I got to 4cm and they broke my water (Strangest feeling ever!). They also gave me some Cytotec. Nothing happened. I made it to 5cm and they said that it was time to try Pitocin. The baby was tolerating everything really well, but there wasn’t much we could do besides the Pitocin. At this point I was exhausted. I had been through about 36 hours of medications, contractions that weren’t doing anything, and plenty of cervical checks. I had heard about the effects of Pitocin and how strong the contractions can be and I decided that it was time to get an epidural. The anesthesiologist wasn’t very nice and it took a few minutes to place the epidural, but it was worth it. I got some relief from the spontaneous contractions and was able to rest. It was also worth it because I couldn’t feel the very uncomfortable cervical checks anymore. They placed a monitor on the baby’s scalp to monitor the heartbeat, and also placed an intrauterine monitor to track my contractions. The pitocin ran the rest of the evening and into the next morning. They jacked it up to the highest setting. My contractions still would not regulate. At about 4am, the baby’s heart rate dropped just a little bit, then again an hour later. My midwife and OBGYN told me that, if I hadn’t progressed any, that it was time to start thinking about a c-section. They checked me at 6am and I was still at 5cm. The baby’s dad and I talked with the midwife and OBGYN and because I wasn’t progressing, plus the baby was starting to show signs of distress, it was time for a c-section. What was nice was that it wasn’t an emergency. Yet. Luckily, all the doctors and anesthesiologists had just come in for their shifts and no one was in the operating room yet, so I didn’t have to wait. Within minutes of getting the order, everyone was in my room, calmly preparing me for surgery. My epidural was working well enough that we could use it for the surgery. Within 30 minutes I was being wheeled away. The baby’s dad joined me in the operating room, of course. All dressed up in those scrubs. There was a second anesthesiologist that was helping with getting me prepped. I called him “the nice one” because he was very friendly and was wonderful at keeping my attention. While he helped wheel me into the OR, he looked at me and said “I think you’re the calmest c-section I’ve seen in a long time!” My reply was simply “I’ve been at this for 48 hours. I’m ready to meet my baby.” He was great. He talked to me the whole time and kept the baby’s dad from looking over the curtain. It felt like an eternity, but eventually he said to me “She’s on her way out! She was very far down into birth canal.”

There was a lot of tugging and pulling and then there she was. They held her up and she looked so mad! They rubbed her a little bit because she didn’t want to cry, but she did a few seconds later. I lost it. I just started crying. They cleaned her up enough that she could open her eyes and made sure she was breathing okay, and then they laid her on my chest. I was so excited to be able to have skin-to-skin contact like that. She laid there in my arms for about 10 minutes and then I began feeling nauseous so I had her dad take her. I watched while they weighed her and finished cleaning her up. The doctor gave me some nausea medication and I actually dozed off on my own. I heard a nurse ask if they had to sedate me and the doctor replied “No, she’s just dozing off on her own! After 48 hours, I’m sure she’s exhausted.” I had to ask for pain medication because my shoulders were killing me. They told me that sometimes gas gets trapped and it’s a pretty common side effect. After that, we were wheeled to my room. We weren’t allowed visitors for an hour. It was just me, my baby and the baby’s dad. Luckily, the pain medication worked well enough that my shoulders quit hurting before we got visitors.

My midwife came to check on me shortly after I got to my room. I was holding my baby and asked her what the red lump on the side of her  head was – if it was from one of the monitors or what. She smiled and said “No one told you? That’s where your baby was trying to come down into your birth canal. Her head was tilted. That’s why she couldn’t move any further down and that’s why you only dilated to 5cm. She was never coming naturally with her head tilted that way. She tried, though. She was pretty far in there!” So, in the end, there was nothing wrong with my body at all. It was simply that my baby girl got a little confused and tilted her head just enough that she simply couldn’t move any further into the birth canal.

My boyfriend had to take care of the baby most of that day because I didn’t get out of bed until later that evening. He was great. Changed all the diapers and would bring her to me any time she looked hungry as I was trying to breastfeed. My pain was being managed well, but I was still exhausted. I basically demanded that they get me out of bed that evening into the chair. They told me that most women don’t get out of bed until the next day, but I was determined.

The next day was pretty rough since my epidural had completely worn off and I could feel my incision. I got up and was walking around, the nurses and my doctor were all surprised I was up. The baby was doing great, latching on like a pro. I went home 5 days after I was admitted.

The first night the baby was home, she screamed and screamed. The hospital had arranged for a home health nurse to come see us because the baby had lost quite a bit of weight in the hospital. Well, she lost even more in the 18 hours that we were home. I had to start supplementing with formula. My milk never came in. I cried and cried, but still tried to breastfeed her in hopes that my milk would come in. Once she started formula, she was a happy camper. She started gaining weight and all was well. My milk never did come in and she’s fully a formula fed baby now.

Two days after we got home from the hospital, I had increased pain and tenderness in my incision site. I called my doctor. It was infected. I don’t want to go into the gory details, but I had some very painful doctors appointments and three rounds of antibiotics. I also had to have home health come in to take care of the wound once a week while my boyfriend took care of it every day. This went on for a month.  I couldn’t see it, thank goodness! I didn’t look at the scar until it was completely healed. It’s nothing. You can barely tell anything is there. My boyfriend was amazing with the whole thing. He diligently took care of my wound, helping me heal physically and emotionally.  He’s also been a great dad. He loves his baby girl and I can see it in his eyes.

Through all of this - every painful and scary minute, having a baby was worth it. I’d go through it all again in a heartbeat. Anna Sophia is beautiful, healthy, and happy.






Guest Post written by Elise Shute, 27 year old momma to Anna, who is named after Elise's grandmother. Elise resides in Pennsylvania, is a pet mommy to a dog and two cats, and enjoys crocheting when she's not playing with Anna