Vaccinations...

Something to consider...there's "on schedule", "delayed schedule" and "non vax" parents, but everyone has to do their research and follow their instincts when it comes to vaccinating their children.

It's a hot topic, which is way I try (and I mean try, though I think it's usually obvious where I lean personally) to encourage parents to really research ingredients, possible side effects, etc before taking a course of action. The most important thing though is of you're not 100% certain where you stand, WAIT. You can always start vaccinating later but you can't take it back if you do it and then decide its not the best choice for your family.

I leave you with this graphic from the Facebook group "Educate before you Vaccinate"...believe it or don't, but hopefully it at least piques your curiosity enough to look into it for yourself :)

Some of the responses to WIO/CIO...

"I think it's about paying attention to what your kid needs that day/night. Like there are nights when my kid is sick and I'll do whatever it takes to get them to sleep...even if that means holding them up on my chest all night. Or if my son is feeling especially anxious or scared about something I will let him sleep in our bed. But there are times when absolutely nothing is wrong and all their needs have been met and maybe they're just overstimulated and need to be alone in their crib/bed and they will probably cry until they fall asleep. And that's actually what they need in that moment. And we mustn't neglect the needs of the mom and dad. Sometimes a parent desperately needs sleep so they can function properly and that might mean they have their kid CIO/sleep train. Or maybe a couple really needs their alone time so that means no co-sleeping. There's no way you can know every single family's needs/dynamic. People can't judge parents who CIO or cosleep or whatever they choose because you don't know what that family's needs are. And every mom knows their own baby best not some stranger or "sleep expert."' -KA

"I'm definitely against CIO. Babies and children need nurturing and by crying, they are showing that they are in need...Studies show that babies who have more physical touch with caretakers and who have not been left to CIO are more stable as they grow. Society today is in too much of a rush to push their children out of the nest so to say. And more 4 month old breastfed son does sleep through the night so a child's sleep pattern should be natural, not forced upon him by making him feel alone and helpless. However, parents who dont believe in crying it out, if at all for any reason they feel as if they might snap or get violent that then they should put the child down then. CIO is better than physically harming a child." - MVC

"We did CIO with our daughter at 6 mo. Well she would cry for like a minute and just fall asleep and now at 3 she sleeps perfect and there's nothing wrong with her. and my son is 18 mo and we didn't have to do it. We just let him sleep in her room and he must have took notes from her." -CG



What are your opinions on Waiting It Out (WIO) versus Crying It Out (CIO)? It's a controversial topic that divides a lot of parents, and even a lot of households, but I am curious to get a RESPECTFUL dialogue going about sleep training/teaching/coaching your child or waiting for them to settle into their own rhythm...

Plus Size Babywearing (3/3) - Soft Structured Carriers, ErgoBaby, Evenflo and why NOT Baby Bjorns!

Last video in the series! Please send any questions to MommaFriendly@gmail.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MommaFriendly

Blog: http://mommafriendly.blogspot.com/

Zulily: http://www.zulily.com/invite/plussizepreggo

Evenflo Snugli: http://www.overstock.com/Baby/Evenflo-Snugli-Seated-Soft-Carrier-in-Fleur-De-Lis/6378091/product.html

ErgoBaby: http://store.ergobaby.com/

ErgoBaby Waist Extender: http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=4112255

Resource for nursing while babywearing:  http://www.babyslingsandcarriers.com/carriers_for_baby_nursing


In case you can't see the video above, you can see it directly on YouTube here. 

Gestational Diabetes - How is it diagnosed? (2/3)

How is the test administered? A one-hour test screens for (but does not diagnose) gestational diabetes mellitus (GDM). If your blood sugar levels seem high after a one-hour test, you'll have to come back for more gestational diabetes testing.The best method for diagnosing gestational diabetes is taking a glucose test (glucose tolerance test). The test measures how the body reacts to a large amount of glucose (sugar).

According to The US National Library of Medicine: "For this test you will drink a glass of water that contains 50 grams of dissolved sugar. You do not need to fast beforehand. One hour later, blood will be taken from a vein in your arm to determine the blood sugar level. If the value is below 7.5 millimoles per liter (mmol/L, about 135 mg/dL), the results are considered normal and no more testing is done.
If an elevated level is found in the glucose challenge test, it is still not considered a final diagnosis. It only serves to determine which women will be offered a second and final test. This second test, called the oral glucose tolerance test, is more involved. For the test, the pregnant woman must fast beforehand, which means not eating or drinking anything but water for at least eight hours. The first step in this test is taking blood. After this the woman drinks a sugar solution containing 75 grams of glucose. Blood is taken from an arm vein again after one hour and after two hours. If any of the following three blood sugar values is exceeded, gestational diabetes will be diagnosed:

• After fasting: 5.1 mmol/L (92 mg/dL)
• After one hour: 10.0 mmol/L (180 mg/dL)
• After two hours: 8.5 mmol/L (153 mg/dL)" 

Testing for Gestational Diabetes can be done as early as 8 weeks in women that have certain risk factors, and is done routinely on all women at about 28 weeks gestation. Interestingly, however, not all women NEED to be tested for diabetes during pregnancy.
 
According to pregnancy.com:

"One of the most intriguing recommendations is that a woman may not need laboratory testing to screen for GD if she meets all of the following criteria:

• less than 25 years old
• not a member of a racial or ethnic group with a high prevalence of diabetes (eg, Hispanic, African, Native American, South or East Asian, or Pacific Islands ancestry)
• a body mass index (BMI) 25
• no history of abnormal glucose tolerance
• no previous history of adverse pregnancy outcomes usually associated with GDM
• no known diabetes in first-degree relative

Women who are at a higher risk for GDM usually have one of the following risk factors:

• age
• ethnicity
• obesity
• family history of diabetes
• past obstetric history"

 Before testing, you should eat normally for the few days prior. Women used to be told to eat less carbs or sugar in the days before their test, but that could just make your body react more aggressively to the glucose in the drink, giving a false higher result. If you are opposed to drinking loads of sugar water and various other chemicals, you can arrange to eat a specific breakfast and have your blood drawn at an interval following your meal instead. Many doctors frown upon such a request, but it is your right to request it.  
 
My own experience and advice for others that are deemed "borderline" like I was: I demanded a retest and that one came back ok but they were "concerned", so I compromised and told them I'd do my best to follow a GD diet and I'd monitor my sugars for a couple of weeks to "put their minds at ease". I figured I could use healthy eating guidelines anyway (though I did still have my daily vanilla ice cream cone) and when monitoring was all good, they left me alone. They insisted I get urine/ketosis sticks and keep a food log which I was meant to fax to them, but I did neither because EFF THAT, THEY'RE NOT MY MOMMA.

I had a bit of a rebellious streak during my pregnancy as you can tell ;) But honestly, I think it's a fair compromise and it'll give you AND the doctors a chance to see how your sugars are doing in the real world over time, rather than just once during a lab test. And then I think no matter what happens, everyone will have peace of mind that they're making the right decision on how to proceed; whether your sugars really ARE high or not. This was something I did in order to appease my doctors because I had one slightly elevated level on my test but otherwise showed no symptoms, but you can also request to have this several-times-a-day self-monitoring in place of the glucose challenge. Again, your doctor might fight you on this request, but as I mentioned previously, this is the best way to get a REAL WORLD view of your glucose metabolism, which is much more accurate than a one-time lab setting.

In the next last post on GD, I will discuss the various ways that Gestational Diabetes can be treated if you are, in fact, diagnosed with GD after your tests. 

Plus Size Babywearing (2/3) - Stretchy Wraps, Mei Tais, Woven Wraps

As posted in the title, in this video I talk about stretchy and woven wraps, and mei tais.

Here are links to the things I mention in the video:

Infantino Sync
http://www.amazon.com/Infantino-Sync-...

http://www.target.com/p/infantino-syn...

Natibaby
http://www.marsupial-mamas.com/collec...


In case you can't see the video above, you can see it directly on YouTube here. 

Guest Post: "I'm Fat!! My Body and Vagina are not BROKEN!!!"

No really....I'm 5'4 and my weight for the past 8 years has fluctuated between 200-250 lbs. During that time and just a little before I have been pregnant 9 times.....2 very devastating very early (2-3 weeks gestation) miscarriages, 6 full term beautifully NORMAL pregnancies and I am currently 25 weeks pregnant and have no 'fat girl' pregnancy issues. All my babies were born vaginally and I have even had 2 (planning on 3) midwife attended home water births. In fact aside from what was diagnosed as pregnancy induced hypertension (blood pressures 140/95) with one pregnancy I have had NONE of the issues my "healthier" skinny friends have had!!

With that said....Why is it an automatic assumption that a bigger pregnant woman equals a plethora of problems during pregnancy, labor and delivery. WHERE IS THE MAGICAL TEXT THAT SAYS I'M BROKEN??? Anyone.....still waiting?? I didn't think so. In my opinion plus size women are at no more risk for problems than any other women. So why do we get treated differently?? Why is the OB/GYN throwing in a glucose test into my first trimester pregnancy panel blood work....Why couldn't I just have been asked if I've had glucose problems in the past?? Why am I being told not to eat McDonald's cheeseburgers because I might gain too much weight or cause baby to be HUGE when I would almost rather starve than eat that! Why am I made to feel like a liar when I say eat healthy and exercise? I do....I think because there is such a stigma around plus size women I fear complications therefore I make a conscious effort to be more active and eat much healthier.

 I'm not trying to say EVERY plus size mom will have an easy time conceiving, being pregnant, laboring and delivering.... But what I am saying is your chances are just as good as any other woman! Medical problems that seem to plague plus size women are also just as common in non plus size pregnancies! We shouldn't have to deal with the added stresses because doctors and staff don't like to deal with us. That alone can almost guarantee you a high blood pressure reading during your prenatal visit, even if you check it at home and get normal numbers.

 Some things I have realized are..have the right to change my health care provider at any time should they make me feel uncomfortable or I just don't care for their bed side manner. I also have a right to a second opinion, the right to discuss PRIVATELY with my partner our options, and the right to simply say NO. So, lets do other women like us a favor and stand up together and say I will no longer accept substandard treatment because of my weight, I will not be scared into unnecessary interventions or tests and I WILL be treated the same as all other women because I'M FAT!!!! My body and vagina are not BROKEN!!!!!    











Guest Post written by Kristina Sharrer, a doula-in-training and crunchy plus-sized mom of 6 beautiful children with another on the way! You can learn more about Kristina at her business website           

Circumcision: opinions, facts, and a rebuttal.

I just ran across this article today, and I have to say it really fired me up. Every person is entitled to their opinion and every parent of a son has a choice to make regarding their foreskin. I firmly believe that like religion and all sorts of other things, there are certain choices that should be my son's and his alone, and I would be doing him a disservice by taking such choices away from him.

That being said, I feel that because a lot of controversy swirls around circumcision, so do a lot of misconceptions. So I wanted to break down the reasoning the author uses in her article FOR circumcision, and offer some alternative views. The original authors views are in italics.

"First and foremost, we knew we wanted it done for hygiene reasons. It's so much harder to keep that area clean if the procedure isn't performed -- and we believed it would leave him more prone to infection if he was not circumcised."

"In babies, the foreskin is completely fused to the head of the penis. The infant foreskin is perfectly designed to protect the head of the penis and keep feces out.  All you have to do is wipe the outside of the penis like a finger.  It is harder to keep circumcised baby's penis clean because you have to carefully clean around the wound, make sure no feces got into the wound, and apply ointment." - Psychology Today.

The foreskin retracts on its own throughout childhood, at which point the child should be taught to pull the skin back and wash like any other part of his body with water and mild soap.


"Second, and I really don't care how stupid or cliche this sounds, we didn't want him to get teased in the high school locker room because he was the only boy who hadn't been circumcised.......And there was no way I was going to let my kid be the dude with the weird looking penis."

 I think this is the part of the article that most burned me. Firstly, you're putting your child through a potentially dangerous procedure for the sake of fitting in. Secondly, at the rate circumcision is dropping in the country, it's a possibility that a circumcised male may be in the minority by the time the authors son is in high school. Lastly, and I feel most importantly, the last sentence in the paragraph is the kind of thinking that leads to bullying. The fact that she's even throwing out there that someone may have a "weird looking penis" and that it's reason to be potentially made fun of only teaches that "we should make fun of whoever looks different to us". Not the parenting style I personally adhere to.


"Lastly, we worried about how being uncircumcised might affect his sex life down the road......I know I'd want to hop out of bed and run if I saw all that extra skin staring back at me."

Once again, she closes the paragraph with a really judgmental-based-on-looks sentiment that really irks me and only perpetuates stigmatizing intact genitalia. Also, here's something to consider about your circumcised son's future sex life: a study in Belgium found that there is less sexual satisfaction and sensation in circumcised penises (so intact men have better sex, according to the study).  Yet another study shows, quote "circumcised men have more difficulties reaching orgasm, and their female partners experience more vaginal pains and an inferior sex life".  And lastly, here's a big one: "Researchers surveyed 300 men and found that circumcised fellas had a 4.5 times greater chance of suffering from ED than noncircumcised guys." That's Erectile Dysfunction, if you weren't sure.



So, again, every parent has to make their own choice regarding the topic of circumcision, but in case any of these misconceptions were your "deal breaker", maybe it's time to do some more researching and soul searching before committing to something permanent and irreversible for your child. I can see how it may not be an easy choice and there's definitely a lot to consider. I just couldn't believe the stuff the original author was throwing out as fact, so I felt like I NEEDED to do something showing that actually, all the reasons she used to make her choice were misconceptions at best, and that if any of those three things are something that weigh on your choice, that there's actually evidence to the contrary. Some people may still choose to do it for religious purposes, or so baby looks like Daddy, etc. I say as long as you really research extensively and you can come to a decision that sits well in your heart, then you've done your best as a parent and no one can ask more of you than that.

Thoughts on why you did or didn't choose to circumcise your son(s)?

Cervical Checks and why I'll forever DENY, DENY, DENY.

*DISCLAIMER: This post is made up of both my opinions and research. The research and reading I did while writing this is cited. Do NOT take this post as medical advice as I am not a doctor and don't claim to be. However, I hope that reading this does make you aware that you have options, and that it's best to do your own research into your options and the consequences of each choice. Remember: if you don't know your options, then you have no options.

A conversation in one of the internet forums I belong to recently turned to routine cervical checks and what I think of them. My exact answer was:

"I'd rather go through my Pitocin augmented, pain med free 46 hour labor again rather than EVER getting another cervical check"

I remember being in labor, thinking I was going to die during the cervical checks. Literally. I was making my peace because I was certain the pain of those checks was going to throw me into shock and my heart was going to suddenly stop beating. The labor was nothing compared to those checks.

Needless to say, I'm not really a fan. But I was in labor, I was scared, and I didn't think I had a choice. BUT I DID. I just didn't know it. Now I do know about my choices, and I can assure you my next pregnancy and labor/delivery will go much differently as a result.

Routine cervical checks (when a doctor does an internal measure of how dilated and/or effaced your cervix is) usually start happening at about the 36 week mark in pregnancy, though they may start as early as 34. The reason your OB gives you that fancy gown to change into at your appointments is to make these tests possible. They check you, give you a number, and possibly make judgements or plans surrounding your birth based on what they find.

Now here's the thing....these figures tell the doctor NOTHING. Some women are dilated to 3cm for weeks and it has no bearing whatsoever on when they'll go into labor or how long the labor will take. Other women are completely shut until the moment they're in labor, and have 5 hours between their water breaking and seeing their baby emerge.Cervical checks are absolutely pointless if you are not in labor.

What about during labor? Well, you might want to know. Your doctor might want to know. But again, your "number" at any given point of labor has no effect on, nor can it predict, how much longer it'll be before you can push. In fact, here's three things I learned about cervical checks during my labor (besides how astronomically they hurt me): 

*Firstly, different people have different sized hands and  checking for dilation is not an incredibly scientific process. Two different people might check you within minutes of each other and get two completely different measurements. 
*Secondly, knowing that number may just discourage you. Imagine being at full on transition strength contractions for 6 hours on Pitocin, only to be checked and have a nurse tell you that you opened up another half centimeter in those whole 6 hours. Talk about taking the wind out of your sails.
*Lastly, checks during labor take the laboring mother out of the flow. It's an interruption that takes you out of whatever space you put your mind in to get yourself through the next contraction, or whatever your focus object is, or the anticipation of meeting your child that helps you get through the pain. Whatever your "happy place" is, you have to snap out of it every time anyone even talks to you, let alone tells you to lie down for one of those checks.

Another thing I didn't know? Cervical checks can lead to infection, especially if your water is already broken. If only I had known that, I would have denied each and every one of those checks right off the bat. You live and you learn, right?

So what am I going to do next time instead? Keep my pants on! Unless the prenatal appointment includes the GBS test, there's nothing that's going to happen at that office that can't happen while I stay in my own clothes. As far as during labor, there are other ways that a medical professional can tell how close you are to being ready to push. If anything, I suppose one could opt for minimal checks and perhaps choose to not be told the "progress" so as to not get discouraged. Plus, minimal to no checks mean less chance for a doctor to pull the "failure to progress" card. 

What is your experience with cervical checks? Perhaps they didn't hurt you and I was just lucky ;) perhaps the number encouraged you to keep going when the going got tough...I'd love to hear all opinions and perspectives on this!


Additional Information:
*Stages of Labour and Conclusion
*The Assessment of Progress

Advice from home-schooling parents?

I know it's probably premature, seeing as my child is a year old, but I have been extensively researching homeschooling and I feel that it might be the right choice for my family.

My husband is about 60% convinced...he's concerned that our son (and any future children) might be socially crippled by homeschooling them...I have the same concern, but hope to keep them involved in sports or dance teams, etc so they can socialize with children that have similar interests. Ideally, we could have some sort of homeschooling co-op situation, where we form a group with other homeschooling families and occasionally learn together so they can meet and make friends with other homeschoolers. There are 2 problems with that, however...in the city of Miami, homeschooling seems to be at a minimum. The second issue is that most homeschoolers (from what I've seen in my research, perhaps I'm mistaken) seem to teach from a religious standpoint/curriculum, and we are raising our children nondenominationally.

I'd love to hear from any homeschooling parents about learning resources, socializing your homeschooled children, and just about your experience in general. Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated! I know it's early, but this is a big decision and I want to be certain I'm making the right choice for my child(ren).

A Call for Guest Contributions...

The motto/mission of my blog is "Support for every path to motherhood"...I want to provide support to anyone that feels like they need it as they prepare for pregnancy, birth, and beyond...but I understand that I can only speak to my own experiences and the best way to be able to relate to a wide variety of parents is to KNOW a wide variety of parents and their experience of motherhood!

That being said, I'd like to invite you ladies to write a guest post for me if you'd like  about your experience of motherhood. Be it from the perspective of someone who is a single parent, divorced parent, adoptive parent, someone who has tried a VBAC or elected for RCS, I want to hear from you all. It could be a birth story, but it doesn't have to be...it could be about why you chose to vaccinate or not, why you became a crunchy/green parent, if you had an unassisted birth, if you chose not to find out the sex of your kids, the journey to TTC, miscarriage survivors, rainbow babies...as you can see, I'm not picky lol I just want to be able to share all kinds of stories in hopes that reading them might help someone else going through something similar.

It will help me learn about how others relate to parenting (as I'm a postpartum doula in training), and also it will possibly help someone relate to your experience when they can't relate to mine.

I'd love to hear from anyone that is willing to participate and potentially help someone out there by sharing their experience! My email is MommaFriendly@gmail.com and the blog facebook page is Facebook.com/MommaFriendly. Thanks!!!!

The VBAC Dilemma

The VBAC Dilemma - More Business of Being Born 

In case you can't see the video above, you can see it directly on YouTube here. 

thoughts?