Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Guest Post: "Road to Surrogacy"

I was 19 when my husband and I got pregnant with my son. I had an amazing pregnancy. You hear all these bad things about pregnancy and all these complications that go along with it and I lucked out. I only had morning sickness for a few weeks and nothing else was bad. I got induced 2 weeks early and he came out at 8 lbs 4 oz and as healthy as a horse. This was 16 months ago. I am now 21 and loving life with a very energetic toddler. I want more kids, but not now. I'm going back to school and want to have a career before I take the plunge and have another child.

 I've always thought about doing surrogacy ever since I had my son. I was just scared to ask my husband. I figured he wouldn't be okay with me doing it so I just put it on the back burner and left it there. On Easter Sunday of this year, I went to my relatives house and I was talking to one of my cousins who was due with her child in about 2 weeks and I just kept saying to my husband how much I missed being pregnant. He knew I didn't want another kid at the moment. So when we left, he was the one who told me I should look into being a surrogate. The more I looked into it, the more scared I was. There are a lot of stories out there of people who carried children and then something horrific went wrong and they were never able to carry another one of their children again. But, the more and more I read and learned about everything, the more I realized that I have to do this.There is NO way that I CANNOT do this.  I honestly believe this is my calling. Truly. So, I researched and researched some more and I had a few agencies that I liked but its so expensive for the parents to do that. 

I found this message board online where you can post an ad of where your located and whether your a GS (Gestational Surrogate) or TS (Traditional Surrogate) looking for intended parents or parents looking for a surrogate. I wanted the GS way, I always thought I could do this as long as the child wasn't related to me. It would just be that much harder. So, I posted an ad saying where I was from and I'm looking to be a GS and I've got quite a bit of emails, but only 1 stuck out to me.

This woman emailed me and said she was from the same state about 3 towns over. about 30 miles from me. I could not believe it!!! That's what I wanted. I wanted parents that could be with me throughout the entire pregnancy. Not just talk on the phone or email once a week. I want to see them and hang out with them. I emailed her back and we hit it off instantly. We met one day and we were amazing how much we are like the same person. 

I was a little nervous not going through an agency but I realized everything would be okay. We got through our psychological evaluation, all of the labs for the fertility doctor (We thankfully worked with one of the best fertility offices in our state), the transfer and then the pregnancy test. A few weeks ago we found out we were pregnant. They could not be any happier!!!! We are moving right along in this pregnancy too. I am 8 weeks and at the ultrasound I am already measuring 3 days ahead.

 I love doing this. I wouldn't trade doing this for anything in the world. Now that I look back at where I was in the beginning, with all my doubts about what will I do if something happens to me or my baby making and carrying abilities, I will know that I did this for an excellent reason and that reason is good enough for me. If I can't have another child its because I choose to help someone else have the thing that makes my life worth living. My son is the reason I wake up in the morning and the reason my hair is falling out    :)      but I'm just glad that I had this chance of a lifetime to have and to hold him. Its not necessarily about giving birth to him. It's about seeing that first smile in the morning when you walk in the room, the boo boos you kiss and make them feel better, that cackle of laughter when you find that one ticklish spot and its the "I love you, mommy" before bedtime that makes this whole life seem to fall perfectly in place. And I'm giving this special gift to someone who can't. This makes doing surrogacy worth the risk.

I got a little teary eyed writing this myself. If anyone is interested in doing this please send them my way and I can help them through this.

The strong woman that contributed this post wishes to remain anonymous, but if anyone would like to speak to her or ask any questions in order to help your own decision or journey through surrogacy, please contact Momma Friendly (comment or email) and I will connect both parties. Thank you.

1 comment:

  1. I'd like to talk to her please.