I can’t believe some people are DEFENDING this.

Fifteen out of 105 of ob-gyns the Sentinel surveyed have set weight limits for patients, which usually start around 200 pounds or are based on BMI levels.

Most of the doctors said that their equipment and examining tables couldn’t hold larger woman (which smells oddly like bullshit), but some said that obesity comes with more complications that the doctors would rather avoid.

“People don’t realize the risk we’re taking by taking care of these patients,” Dr. Albert Triana, who practices in South Miami, tells the paper. “There’s more risk of something going wrong and more risk of getting sued. Everything is more complicated with an obese patient in GYN surgeries and in [pregnancies].”

Unsurprisingly, many of the doctors who have enacted the weight cut-off also have a history of being sued for malpractice or cover high malpractice insurance premiums.

While doctors can not turn down patients based on race, gender, or sexual orientation they are free to turn away patients based on weight. Though not everyone agrees with the policy.

“This completely goes against the principles of being a doctor,” James Zervios, a spokesman for the Obesity Action Commission said to the paper. “Health care professionals are there to help individuals improve their quality of health, not stigmatize them according to their weight.”
Source: Miami New Times Blog


I weighed about 280 when I conceived. I am having absolutely NO complications. I’m expected to have a perfectly healthy pregnancy and birth. To have turned me away simply due to weight would be discrimination, plain and simple, because weight has nothing to do with health or possible complications. Not all thin people are healthy and not all fat people are lazy diseased slobs.

I argued this point on my facebook earlier. You know what I was met with? A MAN I don’t know defending the article saying, and I quote, “if you care so much about your baby, why are you not in the healthiest condition you could be?”

My response?

“ideally I would have weighed less when I conceived, but it was unplanned. Seeing as losing 150 pounds overnight by sheer will and love for my child is impossible, suggesting I don’t care about my baby by not being “at my healthiest” (which actually, I am in spite of me weight) is remarkably fucked up and ignorant. My two cents.”

I saw the article earlier and was already pissed off, so to see a couple of MEN argue that fat women don’t love their kids simply because they’re fat kind of REALLY set me off. WTF do men know about being a woman, about being pregnant, about losing or gaining weight as a woman (because men and woman metabolize differently, in case I needed to point that out)? Answer: NOTHING.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but if the topic is over your head and is something you could never and will never understand, you will only sound ignorant and/or like an asshole by sharing your opinion. Not to mention that owning up to discrimination of any type isn’t exactly an attractive quality.

 I’ve always been considered overweight, obese, or even morbidly obese. I’ve NEVER had a problem with BP, cholesterol, etc whereas several of my thinner friends who don’t take care of themselves have had such problems. I’m not saying I’m the picture of health despite my weight, but I AM of the very strong opinion that simply LOOKING at me shouldn’t be enough to decide I’m not healthy. ssumptions are dangerous, regardless of what they’re based on. Turning someone away based simply on weight is no different then turning them away simply because they’re black, catholic, or gay. NONE of these things mean anything definitely about someone’s health, even if statistics might suggest differently. 

The point I am maki ng is that obesity in and of itself should NOT be reason enough to turn anyone away for treatment. And in this particular case, the insurance companies are applying pressure to doctors that based on their own histories of malpractice, are high-risk doctors, not necessarily because they deal with high-risk patients. 

 I’m willing to repeat my stance til my fingers fall off. Living an unhealthy lifestyle and being overweight are not synonymous. I haven’t had a problem with a doctor, thankyouverymuch but I don’t think anyone else in my position should.  


:EDIT: I juts want to add that just today, I went to the endocrinologist, a specialist that I am supposed to see every 6 weeks throughout my pregnancy simply due to my weight and nothing else…he looked over my blood work and was impressed with how good everything looked. “Beyond perfection!”, he said. He also told me he wished he could give me some suggestions or pointers, but, and I quote “You can’t argue with success!”

So there. 





NOTE: This post was originally dated May 17, 2011...this is the post from my pregnancy blog that lead to the NBC feature on Sizism in OB/GYN offices in Miami. I thought it'd be fun to post it here to show what my perspective on fat-shaming and being a plus size preggo was while I was actually pregnant ;)

Fat Discrimination Firsthand

 Originally dated 03/25/2011

Yesterday I had the first half of an integrated screening…basically at 10-12 weeks, they do bloodwork and a sonogram to measure the baby’s neck, and they do it again at 16-18 weeks, and based on averages from all tests, they determine a risk for Downs Syndrome, Neural Tube Defects, etc.

Bloodwork is second nature at this point, so that bit of the test was unremarkable. The sonogram was another story. Up until now, because it was so early in the pregnancy, all the baby viewing had been transvaginal (sorry if that’s TMI lol it’s the truths of pregnancy)…this was the first tummy sonogram. The nurse was SUPER nice, explaining every step, telling me each thing she was measuring, even stopping so I could watch the baby leapfrog around in my uterus (which was SUPER COOL…I can’t wait til I can feel it!)… then she got quiet. Obviously I got worried that she went from being really chatty to totally silent, so I asked if something was wrong…she said she was going to get the doctor to speak to me. I FREAKED.

When the doctor came in, I recognized him right away. I’d dealt with him once before for a sonogram I had done for my ovarian cysts a couple years back…then he walked into the room, did the sonogram and left, never introducing himself. He didn’t introduce himself yesterday either, so let’s call him Dr. Asshole, or Dr. A for short, since I STILL don’t know who the FUCK he is.

Dr. A was extremely rough with that little wand and caused me more pain with it than I thought was possible without actually bludgeoning me with it. He kept muttering and complaining to himself, and my nerves were going a mile a minute. Suddenly he stops and basically yells at me “WHY ARE YOU SO WORRIED?! You know, if you weren’t so fat, you wouldn’t worry so much.”

WHA……?

"Your fatness is making my job very difficult. The baby is not cooperating, but I cannot make it move because you are so fat!"

Now, I know I’m fat. No one needs to remind me. I also get that this guy sees 100 pregnant women a week and might be a bit desensitized to how traumatizing any test having to do with your baby can be, but SERIOUSLY?! How dare he talk to me like that? I have NEVER felt more bullied in my life.

Then he says “I need your help. Move your fat out of the way so I can get to the baby”…Now I didn’t just feel bullied, I felt humiliated. He was making me feel like a horrible mother because of my…weight? I still can’t believe I didn’t deck him or yell at him, which would have been my normal reaction. Instead I internalized and worried so much about the baby that all I could do was take his abuse, which is just what it was. ABUSE. He wouldn’t have said such a thing to a thinner woman if her baby wasn’t cooperating.

He started violently shaking my stomach at this point with the wand, and I had to speak up. “Could you stop that?” I said…”You’re hurting me, and I’m afraid that might hurt the baby”

"Well, I wouldn’t have to do it if you weren’t so fat!"

:STUNNED:

He decided to have me lay on my side for a bit to give the baby time to move while he went to attend to something else. I LOST my shit crying as soon as he left and starting talking to the baby, asking him/her to PLEASE move for mommy, because I wanted to get us both away from this man as soon as possible. About 5 minutes later, Dr. A came back, and lo and behold, the baby was in perfect position.

All I could do when he announced we were done was stare at him angrily while tears rolled down my cheeks. Then the fucker has the AUDICITY to lecture me about how I shouldn’t worry so much because people who worry have a MENTAL DISABILITY where they “don’t think right” and I have to correct that if I want to be a good parent.

I honestly don’t know what kept me from beating him half to death right then. The desperation to leave that office was actually strongly than my desire to kill this man, if you can believe it.

So yeah. The things I have to deal with as a fat pregnant woman, not because I’m an awful parent, not because my health is causing my baby harm (it’s not, and I have all the tests to prove it) but because of a number on a scale.

And mark my words, if I ever even SEE that man again, I will absolutely lose my shit. What an absolute fucking bastard. As sensitive as pregnant women are, you’d think he’d try to be a little kinder, not throw ALL bedside manner out the window.

So thanks, Dr. Asshole, for turning such a beautiful and exciting moments into literally one of the worst experiences of my life.

Reposted from my personal blog, Plus Size Preggo, where I detailed my pregnancy with my only son.

Guest Post: "My Fat is None of Your F***ing Business"

***warning for language***

My fat is none of your fucking business.

This seems to be something you have trouble understanding. Is there something in the rolls of my stomach that compels you to talk about me as if my fat is on par with some unforgivable offense? You know, maybe my offense was theft. Theft of the self assurance of your media that promises you that your waistline is tantamount to earned morality - because the nicer I am the more confused you get, the harder it is for you to believe that someone like me could let you down by daring to be fat.

I have news for you. My fat and your feelings are never, have never, should never be friends. My fat and your feelings live on opposite sides of the planet and get bad cell reception and bad internet connection.. My fat does not steal your air, your food, or your sense of self. I’m not asking you to touch it or feed it or take it away from me, I’m not asking you to look or not look. My fat means nothing more to you than your hair means to me -- or your teeth or the shape of your chin or whether you’re right handed or left. My fat is not arrogant. Daring to be conventionally unattractive steals nothing from you.

So when my stomach, my thighs, or my arms offend you enough to compel you to remind me of my place in the world, all I can think is:

How the fuck is that any of your business? Is failing to turn you on such a crime? And don’t give me that “promoting an unhealthy lifestyle” bullshit. I am not a promotion. I am not a walking billboard for carbs and sugar. I am not a contagious disease. You will never touch me or breathe the air that I do and spontaneously turn into blubber. My reasons for being fat - my lifestyle, my diet, my childhood, my budget, my self esteem, or my mental health - are none of your business, so how the fuck is the result of them any of your concern?

If I seem angry, it’s because I am angry. I am enraged. I am a scary, pissed off fatty who is sick of society’s permissible hatred giving ten year old girls eating disorders so they’ll be fuckable when they’re seventeen, because “nobody wants to take a fat girl to prom”. I’m pissed off that women are told they’re too fat to believably be loved on stage. I’m pissed off because I can’t eat more than half a sandwich in public without being stared at. And I am pissed off that having standards is seen as arrogant when I dare to be fat and still want love, that not accepting every sexual advance makes me an uppity bitch who should be grateful that I aroused someone.

I don’t want to be special. I want to be human. I want to be judged on my personality, my intelligence and my warmth. I want to sit next to someone in a theater or on a plane without smashing myself into uncomfortable positions just to avoid being glared at should I dare to brush against your arm. My weight - and hell, my health - isn’t up for review. My stretch marks are not a whiteboard for your insecurities. My thighs are not a place to lay your pity, my arms are not the soundboard for your ridicule, and my breasts are not the gatekeepers of your sexuality. I experience life and love, pain and pleasure, elation and despair, arousal, satisfaction, disappointment, self-pity, rage, fear, doubt, depression, hope --- and yes, hunger, despite and in spite and because of my fat. Because I am not a billboard, I am not a cautionary tale, I am not a punchline or an example - not for you, not for anyone - because I am first and foremost a person living the human experience for as long as my heart beats.

And my fat is none of your fucking business.

Written by Jen O'Meara 

A vent about the "Mommy Wars"

So tired of the freaking mommy wars!!!! 

I know someone whose infant twins are fed breastmilk (she's exclusively pumps because they won't latch, as some preemies tend to do) and formula to supplement. The formula isn't agreeing with them, so she's asking in preemie mom groups, multiples mom groups, etc for suggestions and they're all just giving her sh*t for formula feeding!!!!

I'm all for EBF, and ideally every child would be EBF! But sometimes it can't happen!!! Where's the support for the women that are doing their best and HAVE to supplement as a last resort??? I had horribly low supply and tried EVERYTHING I could think of, and I was able to BF until 9 months but supplemented all the while because the pediatrician was scared that my son was failing to thrive. I cried and suffered so much, but I got no support ANYWHERE. One set of people gave me hell for still insisting on BFing, and the other set gave me hell for "succumbing" to formula, as if I wanted to! 

Ridiculous that even among women that SHOULD understand her, all she gets is judgment. If she were making the amount of milk she's getting (almost a liter a day!!!!!!) with a singleton, she'd be GOLDEN. But because its twins, everyone feels compelled to judge because she's not making enough and needs to feed her children.

"Obese and Pregnant"

I watched this special on TLC while I was pregnant (actually, I was "obese and pregnant"...da-da-DUM!!!). Even though I was feeling particularly vulnerable and hypochondriac-y in my state, this special was RIFE with BS. I was pretty upset with it because rather than be educational and show that anyone can have a healthy pregnancy (like I did), this program seemed to be one big scare tactic.

So naturally, when I saw they were playing it again this month, I decided to watch it and give you guys a play-by-play.

Right off the bat, they take the tone that women this heavy (just slightly heavier than I was at that stage) being pregnant is nothing short of a freak show.

Melba is 362 pounds in her last trimester. She already has kids. She has diabetes and was once at 490 pounds. She gained 90 pounds throughout the pregnancy, when obese women are told to gain no more than 15.

I was told the same thing when I was pregnant. I actually gained 33, 23 of which came off the first 2 weeks after delivery. First off, gaining only 15 pounds would mean actually losing weight to make room for the 20+ pounds of baby, placenta, extra blood, etc. Secondly, Melba obviously gained WAY too much during her pregnancy, and that's dangerous no matter WHAT your starting weight was. If they had presented her weight gain in that light (read: accurately), I wouldn't take offense...but they make it seem like she's in such danger because she was already big. Not necessarily the case. A 120 pound woman who gains 90 pounds in 9 months would be in the same danger and carry the same risk.

Christie took 2 years to conceive. They want you to believe its because of her weight, as if thin women never have trouble conceiving. She has PCOS, which lots of women have, regardless of weight.

Lastly, there's Mercedes. She has 2 older kids already and is nine months pregnant with her third. She's gained 200 pounds in the 17 years she's been married. She developed gestational diabetes in her second trimester.

In the next segment, we are reminded that Melba has gained almost 100 pounds during the pregnancy, and then show her going through a McDonald's drive through. Again, we're expected to be disgusted because this fat person is so big and still eating garbage...but I wonder (and I suspect that I know) if a slim woman would be judged the same way going through a drive through. This might be the one time in her whole pregnancy that she ate Mcdonald's, we have no way of knowing. Maybe a thinner woman eats that crap everyday, and her insides are a cesspool...but she wouldn't be judged as harshly just because she's not "fat". Good job sensationalizing, TLC.

In Christie's segment, they talk about how tragic it is that people are going to judge her because she's heavier and she dared to be pregnant. Meanwhile, ironically, this program is cementing that we should judge heavy pregnant women because since they dared to be pregnant and big, they are endangering their unborn children and are monsters. Right. No irony there.

Christie has lost 20 pounds throughout the pregnancy, and the baby is gaining just fine. Good for her, but this is happening because she was eating crap before and has decided during the pregnancy to eat wholesome foods. If you've done this all along, thin or not, you can expect a thriving child. However, the show is edited to seem that the only reason her pregnancy is going well is because she's on a diet. Lovely.

Mercedes is having complications, obviously, with her gestational diabetes. Mercedes is also 38 years old, which adds to complications. They only mention her age, not the fact that such a high age for gestation could also be the cause for her complications. They just focus on her weight.

Melba is 34, was a diabetic to start with, and has hypertension. Her baby is measuring much bigger than average, and the doctor says that it's due to BOTH her diabetes and her weight. Um, I was 318 pounds when I delivered, and my thriving, perfectly healthy son weighed 6 lbs, 9 oz at almost 39 weeks gestation. I call horseshit on the doctor. Diabetes in the mother will DEFINITELY affect the baby's size, but anyone can have diabetes, regardless of their weight.

Mercedes has an ultrasound at 38 weeks, and the baby is perfectly fine regardless of her gestational diabetes.

Now they're telling Melba that she needs an amnio to make sure her unborn daughter's lungs are fine. They need to deliver her immediately because if the baby stays in her, the baby could die. Why? Because of diabetes. That's the only explanation they give Melba, and terrified at the thought of her baby in danger, she gives in. Yay, scare tactics.

Christie had to have an induction after being 8 days overdue. She was given Cervadil and Pitocin (just like I was) because she's slow to dilate. Luckily for her, unlike me, she's not having contractions because she's not actually in labor.

Melba ends up having the amnio, and Dr. Douchebag is "surprised" to find that it wasn't as difficult as he thought it would be with all her extra fat. Swell. She's taken straight into a c-section. They make it seem like operating on Melba is akin to performing surgery on a concrete wall. Poor doctors are going to have to cut through sooooo much fat and skin, the poor things! Boohoo!

Mercedes naturally went into labor and had a perfectly healthy baby without an epidural in just a few short hours. The baby's blood sugar is perfect and there are no complications. LOOKIE THERE. Also, Mercedes discovers she doesn't have continued diabetes. Good news all around.

Melba has her c-section and her daughter is just fine. She weighs 6 lbs, 4 oz. The doctors has rushed her c-section because they had decided the baby was dangerously big and couldn't stay in a day longer. Oops. Good one, Dr. Douchebag. At least they're both fine in spite of the extra interventions.

Christie, however, with her uncomplicated pregnancy, is on day 2 of her induction. She gets an internal monitor (omg, that's just what happened to me!). Unfortunately, her baby goes into distress. She's rushed to a c-section and she has a perfect son.

So in the end, everyone was fine. No one died. No one was horribly disfigured. People were fat, pregnant, and had healthy children. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just lots of scary talk for no reason. I'm not saying that they didn't have complications and struggles, but I am saying that there's no reason to think that the complications were exclusively because of their weight. Bottom line is there's no reason to think that being obese means having complications anymore than being thin will mean a non-complicated pregnancy or delivery.

Guest Post: "I'm Fat!! My Body and Vagina are not BROKEN!!!"

No really....I'm 5'4 and my weight for the past 8 years has fluctuated between 200-250 lbs. During that time and just a little before I have been pregnant 9 times.....2 very devastating very early (2-3 weeks gestation) miscarriages, 6 full term beautifully NORMAL pregnancies and I am currently 25 weeks pregnant and have no 'fat girl' pregnancy issues. All my babies were born vaginally and I have even had 2 (planning on 3) midwife attended home water births. In fact aside from what was diagnosed as pregnancy induced hypertension (blood pressures 140/95) with one pregnancy I have had NONE of the issues my "healthier" skinny friends have had!!

With that said....Why is it an automatic assumption that a bigger pregnant woman equals a plethora of problems during pregnancy, labor and delivery. WHERE IS THE MAGICAL TEXT THAT SAYS I'M BROKEN??? Anyone.....still waiting?? I didn't think so. In my opinion plus size women are at no more risk for problems than any other women. So why do we get treated differently?? Why is the OB/GYN throwing in a glucose test into my first trimester pregnancy panel blood work....Why couldn't I just have been asked if I've had glucose problems in the past?? Why am I being told not to eat McDonald's cheeseburgers because I might gain too much weight or cause baby to be HUGE when I would almost rather starve than eat that! Why am I made to feel like a liar when I say eat healthy and exercise? I do....I think because there is such a stigma around plus size women I fear complications therefore I make a conscious effort to be more active and eat much healthier.

 I'm not trying to say EVERY plus size mom will have an easy time conceiving, being pregnant, laboring and delivering.... But what I am saying is your chances are just as good as any other woman! Medical problems that seem to plague plus size women are also just as common in non plus size pregnancies! We shouldn't have to deal with the added stresses because doctors and staff don't like to deal with us. That alone can almost guarantee you a high blood pressure reading during your prenatal visit, even if you check it at home and get normal numbers.

 Some things I have realized are..have the right to change my health care provider at any time should they make me feel uncomfortable or I just don't care for their bed side manner. I also have a right to a second opinion, the right to discuss PRIVATELY with my partner our options, and the right to simply say NO. So, lets do other women like us a favor and stand up together and say I will no longer accept substandard treatment because of my weight, I will not be scared into unnecessary interventions or tests and I WILL be treated the same as all other women because I'M FAT!!!! My body and vagina are not BROKEN!!!!!    











Guest Post written by Kristina Sharrer, a doula-in-training and crunchy plus-sized mom of 6 beautiful children with another on the way! You can learn more about Kristina at her business website           

Forgive me, but...

having a soapbox moment...

I'm putting together my website, and so I looked up my interview feature that I did with NBC while I was pregnant about sizist doctor policies...turns out the article was posted elsewhere and some comments were received. They were pretty evenly divided between support for me and support for the doctor policies, but one in particular stood out to me:

"This woman is about to realize her pregnancy hormones got a little out of hand. Carrying a child and actually caring for a child are two different things. We'll see if she can physically keep up with a two year old at 300 lbs. Just stupid."

well GUESS WHO is keeping up with her 2 year old at almost 300 pounds, DOUCHE . Who's stupid now? Only proves my point that weight is nothing but a number and your judgment of me FOR my weight says much more about you than me.

/endrant lol