Nursury Furniture for Plus Size Moms

A reader on Tumblr asked what glider or rocking chair I would recommend for plus size mommas, since I am one myself...

I was on a mission to find the perfect glider suitable for plus size preggos…The glider we originally registered for was not only obscenely expensive, but did not have the highest of weight capacities. The last thing we wanted was to spend $400 on a chair that we could expect to fall apart on us because it wasn’t meant to hold me in the first place…
 
After checking countless forums, manufacturers websites and reviews online (not to mention comparison shopping at different websites to get the best deal), I was able to find this:

It costs $200 retail INCLUDING the ottoman, is the exact material and color of all our other furniture, and holds up to 300 pounds.

I had it for almost 2 entire years before we got rid of it. It held up very well, even with daily use! It was super comfortable and a life saver when it came to overnight nursings. I never used the ottoman much, to be honest, just because it feels weird to me to rock back and forth with my feet up, but otherwise I'm very happy with our purchase of this glider!

I'd love to hear about any other suggestions for plus size friendly furniture or baby gear. Let me know if there's something you can't live without as a plus sized momma!

Fundraiser!

My incredibly generous friend Felicia (she has also written posts for MommaFriendly before) put together a fundraiser for Bu's lab work and treatments. She sells Jewelry In Candles, which is just what it sounds like! You buy an awesome candle, and inside it, you'll find a ring (sized to you!), earrings or necklace. A gift in a gift!

The proceeds are going to Bu's medical bills, I hope you will all share and check out her products! Please click THIS LINK for the event, and make sure you like Felicia's business page, Jewelry In Candles with MrsTrum​.

As always, you can follow our autism journey at our blog or our Facebook page.

Thanks!!!

Guest Post (continued): "My journey toward Fertility Awareness, or why I don't use hormonal birth control..."

To read the first part of Codi's story, please click here.

About 3 months into year two of marriage we went on a spiritual retreat with the faith based ministry were were newly on staff with. It was a difficult time for both of us, and sex would have been a good way to connect. But we forgot the condoms. And none of the other married couples had any. And we couldn’t drive anywhere to get any. It really sucked. A couple other wives told me about what they do, one with many many health problems, and one normal and healthy. They both used a method called Fertility Awareness. Not the rhythm method or the calendar method, fertility awareness tells you what your body is doing right now, today, no matter how long or short your cycle is.

Sadly I did not convince my husband that condom free sex that night would be fine, but it did start me on a journey for information. They pointed me to a book called Your Fertility Signals: Using Them to Achieve or Avoid Pregnancy Naturally, by Merryl Winstein. 

 

When we got home from the retreat I bought the book. It was old, and kind of hokey with the illustrations, but I could tell it had good information. I learned that when a woman ovulates, there are physical changes you can pay attention to in order to avoid having sex on what is called a fertile day.

When a woman ovulates, at whatever time in her cycle her body is ready, usually 2 weeks before her next period, there will be an increase in vaginal discharge, specifically cervical mucus. Cervical mucus is the bodies way of insuring egg and sperm meet. It provides channels to speed up the sperm on their journey towards the egg, and helps the egg make it safely to the uterus for implantation. It also keeps sperm alive longer, providing a hospitable atmosphere for them to wait for an egg to be released.

Most women will be able to see cervical mucus for about 4 days in a cycle. If you did not see mucus you probably did not ovulate.  

To avoid or achieve a pregnancy, you will check vaginally every time you use the toilet, looking for cervical mucus, or CM. CM is like egg whites, (abbreviated EWCM), clear or whitish, and stretchy, up to an inch of stretch between your fingers. Vaginal discharge is wet, or sticky, and will not stretch.

Here is the basic idea, read on knowing that I am not a medical professional. I suggest you do your own research and/or talk to your doctor before starting this or any other health related plan. Also the book I mentioned and others like it explain the how to do this in much greater detail. This is to give you an idea and encourage you to look for yourself more in depth.

To avoid pregnancy:

Beginning on the first day your period ends, until you have your next period, you will check for CM before and after every time to the toilet (with clean hands). If you have no egg white cervical mucus, you may have sex that night! But not the next day as sex will change the liquids in your lady parts, and sperm can look very similar to EWCM (egg white cervical mucus).  When you start seeing EWCM when you wipe, you stop having sex at night (and any other time), and for four days after you last see any CM. You wait 4 days because absence of EWCM does not mean the egg is gone. There is still a potential for pregnancy in this window of time. Once the four days have passed, have as much sex as you want whenever you want, but keep looking for signals until your next period starts.

To get knocked up:

Check your cervical mucus daily, as if above. When you start seeing EWCM, have lots of sex! Your body is telling you there is an egg available, provide some sperm. Have lots of sex in the days after you see EWCM also.

It took me a few months of tracking to feel comfortable enough...and my husband! This is not a one woman show, both partners need to be comfortable with the method, and communication is vital! We stopped using condoms as a back up, and only used the fertility awareness method. We successfully did not get pregnant for about a year the first time around, and for over 18 months after the birth of our daughter. When trying to get pregnant it took us about 9 months the first time and 6 months round 2. When we really want sex on fertile days, we use a condom if we are preventing pregnancy, knowing that if it fails there is a high likelihood of a baby.

This is not for everyone, but I greatly enjoy knowing I am not putting hormones into my body, and if a baby is conceived it has a chance to live and grow. It is also free, requires no supplies, and available whether you have insurance or not. If you have very long or short cycles, you will be able to find out when you are ovulating, and act accordingly. If you have no cycle, you can start tracking to see if you are ovulating (like while nursing a baby).

The book Your Fertility Signals: Using Them to Achieve or Avoid Pregnancy Naturally also teaches you how to temp daily to track exactly when you ovulated. I choose not to do this because I am lazy. Plus you will only know looking back which day you ovulated, and you would still be tracking your bodies signals on a daily basis to know when your fertile days are. The book includes charts to track mucus and temperature. It is available used from several sources.

 

Here are some resources for more information:

FAQ’s and more information: http://www.fertaware.com/awareness.html

Fertility Awareness Counselor(I have not personally used) http://www.hannahshopefertility.com/

There are also many apps to track your cycle, I use “My Days X” for android, it was free.

For my family, this is what works, and what my husband and I are both very comfortable with. Do your research, decide if this is something you want to do for you, and know that you have to keep track all the time or you can get pregnant. If you forget a few days of tracking, use a barrier method or know you risk pregnancy.

Codi is a mom of almost 2 from Southern California. She spends her days getting ready for baby #2 and giving her daughter those last only child days. If you'd like to connect with Codi or ask her questions, please comment!

Autism, ABA and Gentle Parenting

The first of (hopefully weekly) progress videos for Bu...

I probably won't be posting the weekly videos here unless they deal specifically with a parenting issue, so if you'd like to follow these updates, please join the All For Bu facebook page or subscribe to my YouTube channel.

This vlog is about how ABA (behavior therapy) conflicts with my gentle parenting instincts and how I'm struggling with that...I'd love some input from like-minded parents!



If you can't see the video posted above, you can watch it HERE on YouTube.

Also, if you aren't already, please follow @MommaFriendly on Instagram, where I'm posting about guest post contributions and other random daily tips and funnies as related to pregnancy and parenting.

On a personal note, THANK YOU.

When I wrote what I did "coming out" as an autism family and why I don't support donating to Autism Speaks, I never expected the response I got and I certainly never expected people to want to donate directly to my son for his therapies, supplements, etc. I'm overwhelmed at the generosity of the people around me and blessed to find so much support. Thank you all!!!! 
 

Breech Presentation...What? Why? How?

A baby in "breech" position is basically considered an automatic cesarean, at least in the United States. Many doctors are no longer trained in breech deliveries, and so the immediate conclusion that they come to is that mom will need major abdominal surgery due to their lack of training. It is what it is, right?

Wrong.


What is Breech?

• Frank Breech, which tends to be the most favorable. This is when baby’s bottom presents first and feet are by the head.
• Footling Breech is when baby has one or both feet presenting first.
• Complete Breech is when your baby is comfy sitting cross legged.

Why won’t my doctor do a vaginal breech birth?
This could be due to a variety of reasons:

• They may not have a lot of experience attending vaginal breech births.
• May not feel comfortable attending vaginal breech births.
  
• May have had a bad experience in the past.
  
• There may not be suitable back-up at the hospital where they practice (on call anesthetists, pediatricians, experienced midwives, 24 hour operating room staff).
  
• They may not believe in vaginal breech birth.
  
• Defensive practice in current childbirth culture means that doctors are more likely to err on the side of intervention (cesarean section) rather than non-intervention (vaginal birth).
  
• It is easier for a doctor to perform a cesarean section than a skilled vaginal breech birth.
  
• Cesarean is an accepted birth method in today’s culture.

How should I approach my child's breech position?
*Do nothing.
Depending how many weeks pregnant you are, you may decide just to wait for your baby to turn. The majority of babies turn spontaneously pre-term.

*Non-medical turning
Alternatively, there are various non-medical turning techniques you can try.  You can read more on Spinning Babies. 
 
*Look for a care-provider who will support you in whatever option you choose
Many maternity care-providers do not support vaginal breech birth and will advise a planned cesarean section at 38 or 39 weeks if your baby does not turn.  This is partly because most obstetricians and midwives do not possess skills in vaginal breech birth and so they are unable to offer this option safely. However, depending on various maternal and fetal factors, vaginal breech birth is not necessarily any riskier than cesarean section, particularly with the support of an experienced attendant. 

Before 37 weeks of pregnancy, breech presentation is much more common - about 20% of babies at 28 weeks are breech, and 15% at 32 weeks. Before term, which is defined as 37 weeks, it doesn't matter if the baby is breech, as there is always a good chance that she will turn spontaneously. Some babies do turn by themselves after this time, but it is much less likely, and some preparations should be made to decide how delivery is going to take place. About 10% to 15% of breech babies are discovered for the first time late in labor!


Very soon, I will post two guest birth stories. One of these stories is from Felicia, who had a cookie-cutter, non-complicated pregnancy but was forced into cesarean delivery solely due to a breech presentation. The second is from Kristel, whose daughter came out booty-first at home in the water. These ladies are examples of how having supportive care providers can make the difference between the birth experience you want and the experience that is forced upon you.

Further Reading:
Spinning Babies 
The Webster Technique
Breech Decision Making Sheet

UPDATE: Please click HERE for the Breech Babies tab, so you can read the birth stories mentioned above and any other resources on this site regarding breech babies.



Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4

Series on Nutritional Supplements for Toddlers

If you cannot see the video above, please click here to see it on YouTube.

This is not to be taken as medical advice, as I am not a medical professional. I am only sharing what I do with my family, and what we find works for us. Please share in the comments what your own experience has been with picky eating, due to sensory sensitivities or otherwise, and what you do to help overcome any "holes" in your child's nutrition.

Product I Love: Groovebook!

Highly recommended! A book of 100 photos for $2.99. It's a subscription service that lets to add photos from your iPhone as you go along and once a month, the photos are ordered and you receive the book 2 weeks later.

 I took advantage of my FREE book (yes, using my code gives you your first book FREE) to make a book of our trip to Disney for Bu's birthday, but I'm continuing my subscription so I can have books of his every month, the same way I've always made his albums. The difference is the albums usually cost me $20-40, but this is $2.99! And they're 4X6, so I can put them all in his yearly "time capsule" boxes that I keep for him, but you could just as easily tear out the pics to give to grandparents, etc. You could even tear out the photos eventually and put them in a scrapbook or photo album, but they're kept organized and in order in the meantime.


As always, this is not a sponsored post, just a product I love that I thought I'd share with my readers
:)

Gestational Diabetes - How is it diagnosed? (2/3)

How is the test administered? A one-hour test screens for (but does not diagnose) gestational diabetes mellitus (GDM). If your blood sugar levels seem high after a one-hour test, you'll have to come back for more gestational diabetes testing.The best method for diagnosing gestational diabetes is taking a glucose test (glucose tolerance test). The test measures how the body reacts to a large amount of glucose (sugar).

According to The US National Library of Medicine: "For this test you will drink a glass of water that contains 50 grams of dissolved sugar. You do not need to fast beforehand. One hour later, blood will be taken from a vein in your arm to determine the blood sugar level. If the value is below 7.5 millimoles per liter (mmol/L, about 135 mg/dL), the results are considered normal and no more testing is done.
If an elevated level is found in the glucose challenge test, it is still not considered a final diagnosis. It only serves to determine which women will be offered a second and final test. This second test, called the oral glucose tolerance test, is more involved. For the test, the pregnant woman must fast beforehand, which means not eating or drinking anything but water for at least eight hours. The first step in this test is taking blood. After this the woman drinks a sugar solution containing 75 grams of glucose. Blood is taken from an arm vein again after one hour and after two hours. If any of the following three blood sugar values is exceeded, gestational diabetes will be diagnosed:

• After fasting: 5.1 mmol/L (92 mg/dL)
• After one hour: 10.0 mmol/L (180 mg/dL)
• After two hours: 8.5 mmol/L (153 mg/dL)" 

Testing for Gestational Diabetes can be done as early as 8 weeks in women that have certain risk factors, and is done routinely on all women at about 28 weeks gestation. Interestingly, however, not all women NEED to be tested for diabetes during pregnancy.
 
According to pregnancy.com:

"One of the most intriguing recommendations is that a woman may not need laboratory testing to screen for GD if she meets all of the following criteria:

• less than 25 years old
• not a member of a racial or ethnic group with a high prevalence of diabetes (eg, Hispanic, African, Native American, South or East Asian, or Pacific Islands ancestry)
• a body mass index (BMI) 25
• no history of abnormal glucose tolerance
• no previous history of adverse pregnancy outcomes usually associated with GDM
• no known diabetes in first-degree relative

Women who are at a higher risk for GDM usually have one of the following risk factors:

• age
• ethnicity
• obesity
• family history of diabetes
• past obstetric history"

 Before testing, you should eat normally for the few days prior. Women used to be told to eat less carbs or sugar in the days before their test, but that could just make your body react more aggressively to the glucose in the drink, giving a false higher result. If you are opposed to drinking loads of sugar water and various other chemicals, you can arrange to eat a specific breakfast and have your blood drawn at an interval following your meal instead. Many doctors frown upon such a request, but it is your right to request it.  
 
My own experience and advice for others that are deemed "borderline" like I was: I demanded a retest and that one came back ok but they were "concerned", so I compromised and told them I'd do my best to follow a GD diet and I'd monitor my sugars for a couple of weeks to "put their minds at ease". I figured I could use healthy eating guidelines anyway (though I did still have my daily vanilla ice cream cone) and when monitoring was all good, they left me alone. They insisted I get urine/ketosis sticks and keep a food log which I was meant to fax to them, but I did neither because EFF THAT, THEY'RE NOT MY MOMMA.

I had a bit of a rebellious streak during my pregnancy as you can tell ;) But honestly, I think it's a fair compromise and it'll give you AND the doctors a chance to see how your sugars are doing in the real world over time, rather than just once during a lab test. And then I think no matter what happens, everyone will have peace of mind that they're making the right decision on how to proceed; whether your sugars really ARE high or not. This was something I did in order to appease my doctors because I had one slightly elevated level on my test but otherwise showed no symptoms, but you can also request to have this several-times-a-day self-monitoring in place of the glucose challenge. Again, your doctor might fight you on this request, but as I mentioned previously, this is the best way to get a REAL WORLD view of your glucose metabolism, which is much more accurate than a one-time lab setting.

In the next last post on GD, I will discuss the various ways that Gestational Diabetes can be treated if you are, in fact, diagnosed with GD after your tests. 

Circumcision: opinions, facts, and a rebuttal.

I just ran across this article today, and I have to say it really fired me up. Every person is entitled to their opinion and every parent of a son has a choice to make regarding their foreskin. I firmly believe that like religion and all sorts of other things, there are certain choices that should be my son's and his alone, and I would be doing him a disservice by taking such choices away from him.

That being said, I feel that because a lot of controversy swirls around circumcision, so do a lot of misconceptions. So I wanted to break down the reasoning the author uses in her article FOR circumcision, and offer some alternative views. The original authors views are in italics.

"First and foremost, we knew we wanted it done for hygiene reasons. It's so much harder to keep that area clean if the procedure isn't performed -- and we believed it would leave him more prone to infection if he was not circumcised."

"In babies, the foreskin is completely fused to the head of the penis. The infant foreskin is perfectly designed to protect the head of the penis and keep feces out.  All you have to do is wipe the outside of the penis like a finger.  It is harder to keep circumcised baby's penis clean because you have to carefully clean around the wound, make sure no feces got into the wound, and apply ointment." - Psychology Today.

The foreskin retracts on its own throughout childhood, at which point the child should be taught to pull the skin back and wash like any other part of his body with water and mild soap.


"Second, and I really don't care how stupid or cliche this sounds, we didn't want him to get teased in the high school locker room because he was the only boy who hadn't been circumcised.......And there was no way I was going to let my kid be the dude with the weird looking penis."

 I think this is the part of the article that most burned me. Firstly, you're putting your child through a potentially dangerous procedure for the sake of fitting in. Secondly, at the rate circumcision is dropping in the country, it's a possibility that a circumcised male may be in the minority by the time the authors son is in high school. Lastly, and I feel most importantly, the last sentence in the paragraph is the kind of thinking that leads to bullying. The fact that she's even throwing out there that someone may have a "weird looking penis" and that it's reason to be potentially made fun of only teaches that "we should make fun of whoever looks different to us". Not the parenting style I personally adhere to.


"Lastly, we worried about how being uncircumcised might affect his sex life down the road......I know I'd want to hop out of bed and run if I saw all that extra skin staring back at me."

Once again, she closes the paragraph with a really judgmental-based-on-looks sentiment that really irks me and only perpetuates stigmatizing intact genitalia. Also, here's something to consider about your circumcised son's future sex life: a study in Belgium found that there is less sexual satisfaction and sensation in circumcised penises (so intact men have better sex, according to the study).  Yet another study shows, quote "circumcised men have more difficulties reaching orgasm, and their female partners experience more vaginal pains and an inferior sex life".  And lastly, here's a big one: "Researchers surveyed 300 men and found that circumcised fellas had a 4.5 times greater chance of suffering from ED than noncircumcised guys." That's Erectile Dysfunction, if you weren't sure.



So, again, every parent has to make their own choice regarding the topic of circumcision, but in case any of these misconceptions were your "deal breaker", maybe it's time to do some more researching and soul searching before committing to something permanent and irreversible for your child. I can see how it may not be an easy choice and there's definitely a lot to consider. I just couldn't believe the stuff the original author was throwing out as fact, so I felt like I NEEDED to do something showing that actually, all the reasons she used to make her choice were misconceptions at best, and that if any of those three things are something that weigh on your choice, that there's actually evidence to the contrary. Some people may still choose to do it for religious purposes, or so baby looks like Daddy, etc. I say as long as you really research extensively and you can come to a decision that sits well in your heart, then you've done your best as a parent and no one can ask more of you than that.

Thoughts on why you did or didn't choose to circumcise your son(s)?

Intro before the Intro

I've been blogging since before most people had ever heard of it. I got my first livejournal account in 2002...I've had approximately 20 different blogs since then, ranging from lifestyle to fashion and back. I  was known once as The Frugalista Fatshionista. When I became pregnant with my son, I evolved into Plus Size Preggo. All the while, I was blogging about my day-to-day at Walking Contradiction. Now, I vlog at Crunchyish Miami Momma.

Which brings me to the here and now. Momma Friendly is where I plan to being all of these versions of me together. I am a plus size health advocate, a promoter of attachment parenting and natural living, a doula student and VBAC seeker.

Above all, I am a mother.

Please stick around to get to know more about me. And I hope to get to know you as well.