I can’t believe some people are DEFENDING this.

Fifteen out of 105 of ob-gyns the Sentinel surveyed have set weight limits for patients, which usually start around 200 pounds or are based on BMI levels.

Most of the doctors said that their equipment and examining tables couldn’t hold larger woman (which smells oddly like bullshit), but some said that obesity comes with more complications that the doctors would rather avoid.

“People don’t realize the risk we’re taking by taking care of these patients,” Dr. Albert Triana, who practices in South Miami, tells the paper. “There’s more risk of something going wrong and more risk of getting sued. Everything is more complicated with an obese patient in GYN surgeries and in [pregnancies].”

Unsurprisingly, many of the doctors who have enacted the weight cut-off also have a history of being sued for malpractice or cover high malpractice insurance premiums.

While doctors can not turn down patients based on race, gender, or sexual orientation they are free to turn away patients based on weight. Though not everyone agrees with the policy.

“This completely goes against the principles of being a doctor,” James Zervios, a spokesman for the Obesity Action Commission said to the paper. “Health care professionals are there to help individuals improve their quality of health, not stigmatize them according to their weight.”
Source: Miami New Times Blog


I weighed about 280 when I conceived. I am having absolutely NO complications. I’m expected to have a perfectly healthy pregnancy and birth. To have turned me away simply due to weight would be discrimination, plain and simple, because weight has nothing to do with health or possible complications. Not all thin people are healthy and not all fat people are lazy diseased slobs.

I argued this point on my facebook earlier. You know what I was met with? A MAN I don’t know defending the article saying, and I quote, “if you care so much about your baby, why are you not in the healthiest condition you could be?”

My response?

“ideally I would have weighed less when I conceived, but it was unplanned. Seeing as losing 150 pounds overnight by sheer will and love for my child is impossible, suggesting I don’t care about my baby by not being “at my healthiest” (which actually, I am in spite of me weight) is remarkably fucked up and ignorant. My two cents.”

I saw the article earlier and was already pissed off, so to see a couple of MEN argue that fat women don’t love their kids simply because they’re fat kind of REALLY set me off. WTF do men know about being a woman, about being pregnant, about losing or gaining weight as a woman (because men and woman metabolize differently, in case I needed to point that out)? Answer: NOTHING.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but if the topic is over your head and is something you could never and will never understand, you will only sound ignorant and/or like an asshole by sharing your opinion. Not to mention that owning up to discrimination of any type isn’t exactly an attractive quality.

 I’ve always been considered overweight, obese, or even morbidly obese. I’ve NEVER had a problem with BP, cholesterol, etc whereas several of my thinner friends who don’t take care of themselves have had such problems. I’m not saying I’m the picture of health despite my weight, but I AM of the very strong opinion that simply LOOKING at me shouldn’t be enough to decide I’m not healthy. ssumptions are dangerous, regardless of what they’re based on. Turning someone away based simply on weight is no different then turning them away simply because they’re black, catholic, or gay. NONE of these things mean anything definitely about someone’s health, even if statistics might suggest differently. 

The point I am maki ng is that obesity in and of itself should NOT be reason enough to turn anyone away for treatment. And in this particular case, the insurance companies are applying pressure to doctors that based on their own histories of malpractice, are high-risk doctors, not necessarily because they deal with high-risk patients. 

 I’m willing to repeat my stance til my fingers fall off. Living an unhealthy lifestyle and being overweight are not synonymous. I haven’t had a problem with a doctor, thankyouverymuch but I don’t think anyone else in my position should.  


:EDIT: I juts want to add that just today, I went to the endocrinologist, a specialist that I am supposed to see every 6 weeks throughout my pregnancy simply due to my weight and nothing else…he looked over my blood work and was impressed with how good everything looked. “Beyond perfection!”, he said. He also told me he wished he could give me some suggestions or pointers, but, and I quote “You can’t argue with success!”

So there. 





NOTE: This post was originally dated May 17, 2011...this is the post from my pregnancy blog that lead to the NBC feature on Sizism in OB/GYN offices in Miami. I thought it'd be fun to post it here to show what my perspective on fat-shaming and being a plus size preggo was while I was actually pregnant ;)

Weird Pregnancy Behaviors...

the things no one talks about.

originally dated 2/25/11
Since I’ve been pregnant, I’ve been having thoughts and urges that scare even me.

Namely, the urge to lick things.

I’ll wait for you to laugh. I find it hilarious, myself.

I’ve asked my mom if she ever had a similar urge, and she only giggled. I’ve googled it and found nothing. Even my husband can only smirk when I get a certain look on my face because he knows I’m actively holding myself back from licking something in my vicinity.

Now before you get any ideas, I only have had urges to lick food, and stranger still, the television when there’s an image on food on it. I haven’t ACTUALLY licked the TV (yet LOL), but this anxious NEED to lick the screen comes over me whenever something tasty appears! LMAO

My theory is that I’m having too many cravings to actually fit all these foods in my tummy at once, and lately I can only eat about half what I used to, but get hungrier much more often…so I guess maybe I want to lick things just so I can taste them without actually ingesting them? IDK…it’s the only thing that makes sense to me. Also, I’ve much more aware of textures in my food lately, so maybe I get the urge to lick things because I’m not interested in chewing them…(?) Any ideas/theories would be appreciated (and probably laughed at).

I’ve heard of women eating chalk and dirt while they’re pregnant, so me wanting to lick a chicken wing or a tamal isn’t THAT strange…is it? ;)

This was something I wrote on my blog back when I was about 7 weeks pregnant with my son. Have you experienced weird or unexpected inclinations during your pregnancies? I'd love to hear from other mommas so I know I'm not the only weirdo! hahaha ;)

Guest Post - "Cesarean SOLELY Due to Breech"

 In 2009, I was pregnant with my first daughter. It was a very uneventful pregnancy even though I gained about 50lbs during the 9 months making me 300lbs at the time of birth. She was head down from somewhere around 35 weeks till 42 and I was starting to dilate and efface. I went in to my 42 week OB appointment at which they did a U/S to check on the baby. Turned out she was had flipped to breech at 42 weeks.

It all happened so fast in the office, after they found out she was breech they wouldn't check me at all because suddenly now my only option was a c-section. The OB brought us into his office to talk about it and told me I was going to have a c-section because I was 42 weeks and she was breech, if she hadn't been breech they would have let me be. I started crying right there, I hadn't ever thought I would be having a c-section... I had a textbook perfect pregnancy and she had been head down!

I asked if there was anything we could do and I was told no. He told me to stop crying because I was crying for no reason at all but that didn't help, I knew this was a major surgery. I remember my husband commenting after we got out of there that he wanted to punch the OB because of how he was acting. He was very rude and made me feel stupid for crying when they told me I had to have a major abdominal surgery I had not been expecting. I cried off and on for the next two days, I was scared because I'd never had a surgery in my life and now I had to have this one. I had been looking forward to going into labor so I could meet my sweet little girl but now I was dreading giving birth.

When I showed up for the c-section they put me on monitors, checked that she was still breech and told me I was having contractions I just couldn't feel them yet. I was crying a little bit when she was born, I hadn't wanted it this way but she was healthy and I was going to be ok so I thought maybe that was all that mattered right then. I didn't find out about ECV (external cephalic version), spinningbabies.com or that I could have just not gone to the c-section because they can not do anything without your consent until after my surgery. I was so angry when I found out there had indeed been stuff I could have tried to turn her back to breech and avoided that surgery. I was angry that I never got to experience labor, I was angry at myself for having not switched OBs like I had thought about earlier in the pregnancy and vowed to never let myself be talked into another c-section.

I had learned that I couldn't just rely on the word of the people I was seeing, I had to research for myself these things and stand up for what I wanted so in 2013 I gave birth again this time vaginally because I had this previous experience my next one went exactly how I wanted. I didn't let anyone stand in my way, even went so far as not having a OB from 26weeks to 34weeks because the first OB tried to schedule me for a c-section at 40+3 days and I knew because of my older daughter that I likely wouldn't be going into labor till 42 weeks. I did what I had to to find someone who would support me properly so now I try to help other women out there by giving them the knowledge I didn't have during my first pregnancy to prevent them from having unnecessary c-sections.

Felicia is a mother of two little girls living in the Midwest.

Breech Presentation...What? Why? How?

A baby in "breech" position is basically considered an automatic cesarean, at least in the United States. Many doctors are no longer trained in breech deliveries, and so the immediate conclusion that they come to is that mom will need major abdominal surgery due to their lack of training. It is what it is, right?

Wrong.


What is Breech?

• Frank Breech, which tends to be the most favorable. This is when baby’s bottom presents first and feet are by the head.
• Footling Breech is when baby has one or both feet presenting first.
• Complete Breech is when your baby is comfy sitting cross legged.

Why won’t my doctor do a vaginal breech birth?
This could be due to a variety of reasons:

• They may not have a lot of experience attending vaginal breech births.
• May not feel comfortable attending vaginal breech births.
  
• May have had a bad experience in the past.
  
• There may not be suitable back-up at the hospital where they practice (on call anesthetists, pediatricians, experienced midwives, 24 hour operating room staff).
  
• They may not believe in vaginal breech birth.
  
• Defensive practice in current childbirth culture means that doctors are more likely to err on the side of intervention (cesarean section) rather than non-intervention (vaginal birth).
  
• It is easier for a doctor to perform a cesarean section than a skilled vaginal breech birth.
  
• Cesarean is an accepted birth method in today’s culture.

How should I approach my child's breech position?
*Do nothing.
Depending how many weeks pregnant you are, you may decide just to wait for your baby to turn. The majority of babies turn spontaneously pre-term.

*Non-medical turning
Alternatively, there are various non-medical turning techniques you can try.  You can read more on Spinning Babies. 
 
*Look for a care-provider who will support you in whatever option you choose
Many maternity care-providers do not support vaginal breech birth and will advise a planned cesarean section at 38 or 39 weeks if your baby does not turn.  This is partly because most obstetricians and midwives do not possess skills in vaginal breech birth and so they are unable to offer this option safely. However, depending on various maternal and fetal factors, vaginal breech birth is not necessarily any riskier than cesarean section, particularly with the support of an experienced attendant. 

Before 37 weeks of pregnancy, breech presentation is much more common - about 20% of babies at 28 weeks are breech, and 15% at 32 weeks. Before term, which is defined as 37 weeks, it doesn't matter if the baby is breech, as there is always a good chance that she will turn spontaneously. Some babies do turn by themselves after this time, but it is much less likely, and some preparations should be made to decide how delivery is going to take place. About 10% to 15% of breech babies are discovered for the first time late in labor!


Very soon, I will post two guest birth stories. One of these stories is from Felicia, who had a cookie-cutter, non-complicated pregnancy but was forced into cesarean delivery solely due to a breech presentation. The second is from Kristel, whose daughter came out booty-first at home in the water. These ladies are examples of how having supportive care providers can make the difference between the birth experience you want and the experience that is forced upon you.

Further Reading:
Spinning Babies 
The Webster Technique
Breech Decision Making Sheet

UPDATE: Please click HERE for the Breech Babies tab, so you can read the birth stories mentioned above and any other resources on this site regarding breech babies.



Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4

Do Your Research and Question ALL the Things!

I was a bit disappointed, if I'm being honest, about a post Improving Birth did today about Florida birth. The Facebook page stated matter-of-factly that no, ladies in Florida, vaginal birth is not illegal for you. Duh. (That's the tone I took from it, but maybe I'm sensitive). 

Anyway, the fact is that vaginal birth after cesarean in birth centers IS in fact illegal in Florida. True, it's one form of birth among many different types, places, etc. But my gripe is that Improving Birth is a resource for a lot of women, and one that many take at it's word as experts. How disappointed would I personally be to get my hopes up that Improving Birth says the birth I want is legal, only to find out it's not? 

I posted my response there about how it should be my right to birth where and how I want if I'm otherwise healthy, and that doing so would make me feel safe and raise the chance of my successful VBAC, but I don't like that most women won't read the comments and learn specifics. Usually when I make a fuss about VBAC restrictions in Florida, I'm met with "well, you could always do a homebirth!" I was met with just that here...The thing is that going "off the grid" shouldn't have to be our only option, though. Home births are great, but for those of us that would like to be near emergency care in case we LEGITIMATELY (not routinely) need it, we should be allowed that simple, not at all outrageous, scenario to feel safe in our labors, which is what most likely would result in successful VBACs.

The bottom line is: I feel like the message shouldn't have been delivered in such a "duh!" way when there's obviously stipulations and it's been shown time and time again that where and how you birth is incredibly important and indicative of your outcome. My two cents.

What do you think about VBAC restrictions? What sort of opposition have you come across in your pregnancy or labor/birth experience, VBAC-related or otherwise?

Rice Cereal...not the best choice!

It is popular opinion among older generations and many pediatricians alike that cereal, rice cereal in particular, is the ideal first food for babies.Mommas are advised to put it in the bottles of their 6 month old, 4 month old, even 2 week old babies(!) to help them sleep! Not only is that a choking hazard, but research shows that tummies that teeny aren't able to properly digest grains.

Here's a few more reasons why you might rethink rice cereal as the first food your baby experiences:

What was your childs first food? Was it well tolerated? Would you do anything different?

Guest Post: "Baby After Bypass"

So I was fat. I still am fat (not that there's anything wrong with that!), but I was REALLY fat when I was little. I was born and raised in Jersey and I have a stubborn German for a father and a pile of moosh n' love for a mother. I heard a lot of crap from my dad about being heavy. "Put the food down." "You'll die big you know." "Try to lose weight so you can play with your friends..." I don't ever think he meant anything bad by it, but it really took a toll. And as for my mom: "lets go get ice cream so you won't be sad anymore.." (you can see how this snowballs, right?)

When I entered high school I had already had years of bullying. As if being big wasn't enough, I had pimples, I wore glasses, and I had super short hair. I was a target for sure. But as I went to doctors for check ups, we realized one thing: weighing 380 pounds when you were 15 years old was pretty darn unhealthy. It was literally killing me and I was scared.

Around this time gastric bypass was pretty knew, but something drastic needed done. I had all the visits and analyzing one could ever want, and I was in. I was going to get the Roux-En-Y gastric bypass procedure on December 13th, 2002. I went under the knife and came out alive. AND SUPER GASSY! In one week I lost 36 pounds. In one month I lost 90. In 6 months I lost 200 pounds. I could finally walk up the stairs and not be in pain and out of breath. My life had changed for the better.
I did have some complications but they were minor. I still have skin, 10 years later, that I'd like gone, but I'm married now and my husband loves me for what I am and he thinks I'm sexy. (I met my husband on match.com and said hello because I thought his beard was AWESOME. It was love at first beard )

My husband and I said we wanted a family and we started TTC in january of 2012. Frustrated 3 months later we were told to relax and grab some champagne. We did...and voila! Pregnant! I had some concerns having had the surgery and being pregnant. Also, trying to conceive wasnt difficult and it was fun my husband is big too so our positions are limited but our energy never is! We wanted a baby so bad so we tried all the time. The surgery had no impact on our ability to conceive.

 I asked all the doctors if I was safe and how to get my calories in. NOTHING that went in my mouth could be crap calories. Everything I ate had to be good for me and for baby. So that's what I did.
Everything I had was high in protein and I ate many small meals through the day. I drank protein too, tried to cut back on coffee (so hard!), and tried not to head to fast food too often. I did have my fair share of ice cream and pickles for sure, but I did crave healthy things too which helped a lot. I had a complication free pregnancy: no gestational diabetes, no problems whatsoever. I kept myself in check and made sure to do things right. This baby was too important to my husband and I.

In February I gave birth to a chubby 7 pound 13 ounce boy: Edward Remy. I was in labor for 2 hours before fully dilated, and pushed for 18 minutes until he came into this world. He truly is the most amazing thing. My husband and I can't wait to have another!

The gastric bypass was harder to deal with when it was initially done. I was young and didn't follow "the rules" like I should have, but I managed to keep the weight down (although I gained back a little bit). Once I got pregnant I didn't want anything to damage my tummy or my baby, so I kept in close contact with the gastric doctors and they helped me a lot. I would do BOTH of these things again if given the chance. I've never looked back!

This story was shared by Molly, momma of one from Levittown, PA. Molly is the owner of MollyCakes Bakery, find out more about her awesome cakes here.

"Once a C-section, ALWAYS a C-section"

Is there any truth to this common misconception about labor and delivery?

In short, no. And here's why:

Routine "Repeat Cesarean Section" (RCS) came into practice in the early 1900s because back then. cesareans were done in a vertical cut. This cut is much more prone to rupture, so cesareans became the norm for every mother who had already previously delivered by cesarean in order to prevent rupture during labor.

Today, most c-sections are done with a "bikini-cut", which is a low, horizontal cut on or along the bikini line. It is much less vulnerable to rupture or "unsealing" during labor. The World Health Organization actually declared over 20 years ago that "there is no evidence that cesareans are required after a previous transverse low segment c-section cut".

So what is your option after a cesarean, if not another? Certainly, there is a time and place for RCS, but usually, a safer alternative is VBAC, or Vaginal Birth after Cesarean.

Success of VBAC depends upon:
*reasons for previous c-sections
*arriving at the hospital as late into labor as possible
*not having continuous fetal monitoring
*epidural as late as possible into the labor, if at all
*no induction or acceleration
*previous vaginal birth
*being able to eat, drink and move in labor
*no time restraints
*good relationship with your care providers
and
*the use of midwives



In the next two posts, I will go deeper into the success factors listed above so there is a better understanding of each and why they are important for the success of a VBAC.

Plus Size Babywearing (3/3) - Soft Structured Carriers, ErgoBaby, Evenflo and why NOT Baby Bjorns!

Last video in the series! Please send any questions to MommaFriendly@gmail.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MommaFriendly

Blog: http://mommafriendly.blogspot.com/

Zulily: http://www.zulily.com/invite/plussizepreggo

Evenflo Snugli: http://www.overstock.com/Baby/Evenflo-Snugli-Seated-Soft-Carrier-in-Fleur-De-Lis/6378091/product.html

ErgoBaby: http://store.ergobaby.com/

ErgoBaby Waist Extender: http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=4112255

Resource for nursing while babywearing:  http://www.babyslingsandcarriers.com/carriers_for_baby_nursing


In case you can't see the video above, you can see it directly on YouTube here. 

Gestational Diabetes - What is it? (1/3)

This will be one of a three part series I'm doing on gestational diabetes. It seems to a be a topic that has been coming up a lot lately in the forums/groups I belong to, and what I'm finding is that a lot of women are being told they have it or being threatened that they will develop it, but no one is really receiving proper information regarding what it is, how it's diagnosed or how to treat it.

What is Gestational Diabetes?

According to the American Diabetes Association: "Pregnant women who have never had diabetes before but who have high blood glucose (sugar) levels during pregnancy are said to have gestational diabetes. Based on recently announced diagnostic criteria for gestational diabetes, it is estimated that gestational diabetes affects 18% of pregnancies."

Basically, your growing baby needs glucose to grow. Your body errs on the side of "too much" rather than "too little" so the baby doesn't go without. As the placenta grows, the hormones it creates may interfere with your body's processing of all that glucose. This is why testing tends to be done later in the pregnancy (if no other risk factors exist) because the placenta is larger as the pregnancy progresses.

Non-Caucasian women, and women that are overweight pre-pregnancy, are likelier to develop Gestational Diabetes.You are also likelier to develop it if there is a history of diabetes, gestational or otherwise, in your family. Granted, it's not to say you WILL develop GD if you fall into any (or all) of these categories, your chances are simply greater.

Some of the risks of having Gestational Diabetes are macrosomia (baby growing too large), which could mean a broken clavicle or collarbone upon vaginal delivery, among other complications. This is why doctors are quick to induce as early as 39 weeks when the diagnosis for GD is present, or even elective c-section.

AGAIN, let me be clear...the doctor will be quick to suggest (or even insist) upon these interventions, but they may not be necessary. Also, ultrasounds are not, have never been, and are not meant for measuring your baby, and they are usually off by 1-2 pounds either way, so don't be alarmed if the doctor decides your baby weighs 10 pounds solely based on ultrasound...but that's another topic for another post.

Women that have had GD are likelier to develop Type 2 Diabetes later in life, but many of these cases are because the women studied may have had undiagnosed Type 2 Diabetes before pregnancy, and GD may not have been a factor.

Most of the time, GD can be kept under control by diet and exercise, and only in extreme cases will an insulin regimen be needed...so please, do not worry right off the bat that you will need to inject yourself several times a day until you've spoken to a specialist about the severity of your case! Stressing about it will do no one any good, though I know that is easier said than done.


On the next post, I will write about information, evidence and resources surrounding testing for Gestational Diabetes and how it is diagnosed. The last post in the series will be about treatment options. I'll also talk about my own borderline GD diagnosis during my pregnancy and what I went through as far as testing and treatment. If anyone would like to share their GD experience, whether just the testing or actual treatment if you were diagnosed, please email or comment. Also, please let me know if you have any specific questions and I will try to answer them in an upcoming post or at least point you to resources that can help.

"Obese and Pregnant"

I watched this special on TLC while I was pregnant (actually, I was "obese and pregnant"...da-da-DUM!!!). Even though I was feeling particularly vulnerable and hypochondriac-y in my state, this special was RIFE with BS. I was pretty upset with it because rather than be educational and show that anyone can have a healthy pregnancy (like I did), this program seemed to be one big scare tactic.

So naturally, when I saw they were playing it again this month, I decided to watch it and give you guys a play-by-play.

Right off the bat, they take the tone that women this heavy (just slightly heavier than I was at that stage) being pregnant is nothing short of a freak show.

Melba is 362 pounds in her last trimester. She already has kids. She has diabetes and was once at 490 pounds. She gained 90 pounds throughout the pregnancy, when obese women are told to gain no more than 15.

I was told the same thing when I was pregnant. I actually gained 33, 23 of which came off the first 2 weeks after delivery. First off, gaining only 15 pounds would mean actually losing weight to make room for the 20+ pounds of baby, placenta, extra blood, etc. Secondly, Melba obviously gained WAY too much during her pregnancy, and that's dangerous no matter WHAT your starting weight was. If they had presented her weight gain in that light (read: accurately), I wouldn't take offense...but they make it seem like she's in such danger because she was already big. Not necessarily the case. A 120 pound woman who gains 90 pounds in 9 months would be in the same danger and carry the same risk.

Christie took 2 years to conceive. They want you to believe its because of her weight, as if thin women never have trouble conceiving. She has PCOS, which lots of women have, regardless of weight.

Lastly, there's Mercedes. She has 2 older kids already and is nine months pregnant with her third. She's gained 200 pounds in the 17 years she's been married. She developed gestational diabetes in her second trimester.

In the next segment, we are reminded that Melba has gained almost 100 pounds during the pregnancy, and then show her going through a McDonald's drive through. Again, we're expected to be disgusted because this fat person is so big and still eating garbage...but I wonder (and I suspect that I know) if a slim woman would be judged the same way going through a drive through. This might be the one time in her whole pregnancy that she ate Mcdonald's, we have no way of knowing. Maybe a thinner woman eats that crap everyday, and her insides are a cesspool...but she wouldn't be judged as harshly just because she's not "fat". Good job sensationalizing, TLC.

In Christie's segment, they talk about how tragic it is that people are going to judge her because she's heavier and she dared to be pregnant. Meanwhile, ironically, this program is cementing that we should judge heavy pregnant women because since they dared to be pregnant and big, they are endangering their unborn children and are monsters. Right. No irony there.

Christie has lost 20 pounds throughout the pregnancy, and the baby is gaining just fine. Good for her, but this is happening because she was eating crap before and has decided during the pregnancy to eat wholesome foods. If you've done this all along, thin or not, you can expect a thriving child. However, the show is edited to seem that the only reason her pregnancy is going well is because she's on a diet. Lovely.

Mercedes is having complications, obviously, with her gestational diabetes. Mercedes is also 38 years old, which adds to complications. They only mention her age, not the fact that such a high age for gestation could also be the cause for her complications. They just focus on her weight.

Melba is 34, was a diabetic to start with, and has hypertension. Her baby is measuring much bigger than average, and the doctor says that it's due to BOTH her diabetes and her weight. Um, I was 318 pounds when I delivered, and my thriving, perfectly healthy son weighed 6 lbs, 9 oz at almost 39 weeks gestation. I call horseshit on the doctor. Diabetes in the mother will DEFINITELY affect the baby's size, but anyone can have diabetes, regardless of their weight.

Mercedes has an ultrasound at 38 weeks, and the baby is perfectly fine regardless of her gestational diabetes.

Now they're telling Melba that she needs an amnio to make sure her unborn daughter's lungs are fine. They need to deliver her immediately because if the baby stays in her, the baby could die. Why? Because of diabetes. That's the only explanation they give Melba, and terrified at the thought of her baby in danger, she gives in. Yay, scare tactics.

Christie had to have an induction after being 8 days overdue. She was given Cervadil and Pitocin (just like I was) because she's slow to dilate. Luckily for her, unlike me, she's not having contractions because she's not actually in labor.

Melba ends up having the amnio, and Dr. Douchebag is "surprised" to find that it wasn't as difficult as he thought it would be with all her extra fat. Swell. She's taken straight into a c-section. They make it seem like operating on Melba is akin to performing surgery on a concrete wall. Poor doctors are going to have to cut through sooooo much fat and skin, the poor things! Boohoo!

Mercedes naturally went into labor and had a perfectly healthy baby without an epidural in just a few short hours. The baby's blood sugar is perfect and there are no complications. LOOKIE THERE. Also, Mercedes discovers she doesn't have continued diabetes. Good news all around.

Melba has her c-section and her daughter is just fine. She weighs 6 lbs, 4 oz. The doctors has rushed her c-section because they had decided the baby was dangerously big and couldn't stay in a day longer. Oops. Good one, Dr. Douchebag. At least they're both fine in spite of the extra interventions.

Christie, however, with her uncomplicated pregnancy, is on day 2 of her induction. She gets an internal monitor (omg, that's just what happened to me!). Unfortunately, her baby goes into distress. She's rushed to a c-section and she has a perfect son.

So in the end, everyone was fine. No one died. No one was horribly disfigured. People were fat, pregnant, and had healthy children. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just lots of scary talk for no reason. I'm not saying that they didn't have complications and struggles, but I am saying that there's no reason to think that the complications were exclusively because of their weight. Bottom line is there's no reason to think that being obese means having complications anymore than being thin will mean a non-complicated pregnancy or delivery.

Guest Post: "I'm Fat!! My Body and Vagina are not BROKEN!!!"

No really....I'm 5'4 and my weight for the past 8 years has fluctuated between 200-250 lbs. During that time and just a little before I have been pregnant 9 times.....2 very devastating very early (2-3 weeks gestation) miscarriages, 6 full term beautifully NORMAL pregnancies and I am currently 25 weeks pregnant and have no 'fat girl' pregnancy issues. All my babies were born vaginally and I have even had 2 (planning on 3) midwife attended home water births. In fact aside from what was diagnosed as pregnancy induced hypertension (blood pressures 140/95) with one pregnancy I have had NONE of the issues my "healthier" skinny friends have had!!

With that said....Why is it an automatic assumption that a bigger pregnant woman equals a plethora of problems during pregnancy, labor and delivery. WHERE IS THE MAGICAL TEXT THAT SAYS I'M BROKEN??? Anyone.....still waiting?? I didn't think so. In my opinion plus size women are at no more risk for problems than any other women. So why do we get treated differently?? Why is the OB/GYN throwing in a glucose test into my first trimester pregnancy panel blood work....Why couldn't I just have been asked if I've had glucose problems in the past?? Why am I being told not to eat McDonald's cheeseburgers because I might gain too much weight or cause baby to be HUGE when I would almost rather starve than eat that! Why am I made to feel like a liar when I say eat healthy and exercise? I do....I think because there is such a stigma around plus size women I fear complications therefore I make a conscious effort to be more active and eat much healthier.

 I'm not trying to say EVERY plus size mom will have an easy time conceiving, being pregnant, laboring and delivering.... But what I am saying is your chances are just as good as any other woman! Medical problems that seem to plague plus size women are also just as common in non plus size pregnancies! We shouldn't have to deal with the added stresses because doctors and staff don't like to deal with us. That alone can almost guarantee you a high blood pressure reading during your prenatal visit, even if you check it at home and get normal numbers.

 Some things I have realized are..have the right to change my health care provider at any time should they make me feel uncomfortable or I just don't care for their bed side manner. I also have a right to a second opinion, the right to discuss PRIVATELY with my partner our options, and the right to simply say NO. So, lets do other women like us a favor and stand up together and say I will no longer accept substandard treatment because of my weight, I will not be scared into unnecessary interventions or tests and I WILL be treated the same as all other women because I'M FAT!!!! My body and vagina are not BROKEN!!!!!    











Guest Post written by Kristina Sharrer, a doula-in-training and crunchy plus-sized mom of 6 beautiful children with another on the way! You can learn more about Kristina at her business website           

Circumcision: opinions, facts, and a rebuttal.

I just ran across this article today, and I have to say it really fired me up. Every person is entitled to their opinion and every parent of a son has a choice to make regarding their foreskin. I firmly believe that like religion and all sorts of other things, there are certain choices that should be my son's and his alone, and I would be doing him a disservice by taking such choices away from him.

That being said, I feel that because a lot of controversy swirls around circumcision, so do a lot of misconceptions. So I wanted to break down the reasoning the author uses in her article FOR circumcision, and offer some alternative views. The original authors views are in italics.

"First and foremost, we knew we wanted it done for hygiene reasons. It's so much harder to keep that area clean if the procedure isn't performed -- and we believed it would leave him more prone to infection if he was not circumcised."

"In babies, the foreskin is completely fused to the head of the penis. The infant foreskin is perfectly designed to protect the head of the penis and keep feces out.  All you have to do is wipe the outside of the penis like a finger.  It is harder to keep circumcised baby's penis clean because you have to carefully clean around the wound, make sure no feces got into the wound, and apply ointment." - Psychology Today.

The foreskin retracts on its own throughout childhood, at which point the child should be taught to pull the skin back and wash like any other part of his body with water and mild soap.


"Second, and I really don't care how stupid or cliche this sounds, we didn't want him to get teased in the high school locker room because he was the only boy who hadn't been circumcised.......And there was no way I was going to let my kid be the dude with the weird looking penis."

 I think this is the part of the article that most burned me. Firstly, you're putting your child through a potentially dangerous procedure for the sake of fitting in. Secondly, at the rate circumcision is dropping in the country, it's a possibility that a circumcised male may be in the minority by the time the authors son is in high school. Lastly, and I feel most importantly, the last sentence in the paragraph is the kind of thinking that leads to bullying. The fact that she's even throwing out there that someone may have a "weird looking penis" and that it's reason to be potentially made fun of only teaches that "we should make fun of whoever looks different to us". Not the parenting style I personally adhere to.


"Lastly, we worried about how being uncircumcised might affect his sex life down the road......I know I'd want to hop out of bed and run if I saw all that extra skin staring back at me."

Once again, she closes the paragraph with a really judgmental-based-on-looks sentiment that really irks me and only perpetuates stigmatizing intact genitalia. Also, here's something to consider about your circumcised son's future sex life: a study in Belgium found that there is less sexual satisfaction and sensation in circumcised penises (so intact men have better sex, according to the study).  Yet another study shows, quote "circumcised men have more difficulties reaching orgasm, and their female partners experience more vaginal pains and an inferior sex life".  And lastly, here's a big one: "Researchers surveyed 300 men and found that circumcised fellas had a 4.5 times greater chance of suffering from ED than noncircumcised guys." That's Erectile Dysfunction, if you weren't sure.



So, again, every parent has to make their own choice regarding the topic of circumcision, but in case any of these misconceptions were your "deal breaker", maybe it's time to do some more researching and soul searching before committing to something permanent and irreversible for your child. I can see how it may not be an easy choice and there's definitely a lot to consider. I just couldn't believe the stuff the original author was throwing out as fact, so I felt like I NEEDED to do something showing that actually, all the reasons she used to make her choice were misconceptions at best, and that if any of those three things are something that weigh on your choice, that there's actually evidence to the contrary. Some people may still choose to do it for religious purposes, or so baby looks like Daddy, etc. I say as long as you really research extensively and you can come to a decision that sits well in your heart, then you've done your best as a parent and no one can ask more of you than that.

Thoughts on why you did or didn't choose to circumcise your son(s)?

Cervical Checks and why I'll forever DENY, DENY, DENY.

*DISCLAIMER: This post is made up of both my opinions and research. The research and reading I did while writing this is cited. Do NOT take this post as medical advice as I am not a doctor and don't claim to be. However, I hope that reading this does make you aware that you have options, and that it's best to do your own research into your options and the consequences of each choice. Remember: if you don't know your options, then you have no options.

A conversation in one of the internet forums I belong to recently turned to routine cervical checks and what I think of them. My exact answer was:

"I'd rather go through my Pitocin augmented, pain med free 46 hour labor again rather than EVER getting another cervical check"

I remember being in labor, thinking I was going to die during the cervical checks. Literally. I was making my peace because I was certain the pain of those checks was going to throw me into shock and my heart was going to suddenly stop beating. The labor was nothing compared to those checks.

Needless to say, I'm not really a fan. But I was in labor, I was scared, and I didn't think I had a choice. BUT I DID. I just didn't know it. Now I do know about my choices, and I can assure you my next pregnancy and labor/delivery will go much differently as a result.

Routine cervical checks (when a doctor does an internal measure of how dilated and/or effaced your cervix is) usually start happening at about the 36 week mark in pregnancy, though they may start as early as 34. The reason your OB gives you that fancy gown to change into at your appointments is to make these tests possible. They check you, give you a number, and possibly make judgements or plans surrounding your birth based on what they find.

Now here's the thing....these figures tell the doctor NOTHING. Some women are dilated to 3cm for weeks and it has no bearing whatsoever on when they'll go into labor or how long the labor will take. Other women are completely shut until the moment they're in labor, and have 5 hours between their water breaking and seeing their baby emerge.Cervical checks are absolutely pointless if you are not in labor.

What about during labor? Well, you might want to know. Your doctor might want to know. But again, your "number" at any given point of labor has no effect on, nor can it predict, how much longer it'll be before you can push. In fact, here's three things I learned about cervical checks during my labor (besides how astronomically they hurt me): 

*Firstly, different people have different sized hands and  checking for dilation is not an incredibly scientific process. Two different people might check you within minutes of each other and get two completely different measurements. 
*Secondly, knowing that number may just discourage you. Imagine being at full on transition strength contractions for 6 hours on Pitocin, only to be checked and have a nurse tell you that you opened up another half centimeter in those whole 6 hours. Talk about taking the wind out of your sails.
*Lastly, checks during labor take the laboring mother out of the flow. It's an interruption that takes you out of whatever space you put your mind in to get yourself through the next contraction, or whatever your focus object is, or the anticipation of meeting your child that helps you get through the pain. Whatever your "happy place" is, you have to snap out of it every time anyone even talks to you, let alone tells you to lie down for one of those checks.

Another thing I didn't know? Cervical checks can lead to infection, especially if your water is already broken. If only I had known that, I would have denied each and every one of those checks right off the bat. You live and you learn, right?

So what am I going to do next time instead? Keep my pants on! Unless the prenatal appointment includes the GBS test, there's nothing that's going to happen at that office that can't happen while I stay in my own clothes. As far as during labor, there are other ways that a medical professional can tell how close you are to being ready to push. If anything, I suppose one could opt for minimal checks and perhaps choose to not be told the "progress" so as to not get discouraged. Plus, minimal to no checks mean less chance for a doctor to pull the "failure to progress" card. 

What is your experience with cervical checks? Perhaps they didn't hurt you and I was just lucky ;) perhaps the number encouraged you to keep going when the going got tough...I'd love to hear all opinions and perspectives on this!


Additional Information:
*Stages of Labour and Conclusion
*The Assessment of Progress

Forgive me, but...

having a soapbox moment...

I'm putting together my website, and so I looked up my interview feature that I did with NBC while I was pregnant about sizist doctor policies...turns out the article was posted elsewhere and some comments were received. They were pretty evenly divided between support for me and support for the doctor policies, but one in particular stood out to me:

"This woman is about to realize her pregnancy hormones got a little out of hand. Carrying a child and actually caring for a child are two different things. We'll see if she can physically keep up with a two year old at 300 lbs. Just stupid."

well GUESS WHO is keeping up with her 2 year old at almost 300 pounds, DOUCHE . Who's stupid now? Only proves my point that weight is nothing but a number and your judgment of me FOR my weight says much more about you than me.

/endrant lol